drowning in fear. [SAMMA]

[` `shadsywadsy.]

Clouds covered the sky. They were thin, but blanketed the heavens. Not very well, however, because patches of the sun's rays peaked through them, warming the forest. Birds were flying and singing in joy, seeing as the day was fairly warm. A breeze kept the air circulating, so it was not muggy. It was a beautiful day to say the least. Even if the air smelled of an approaching storm.

Small white paws padded on the soft ground. Their claws were unsheathed, ready for anything to happen. The legs they were attached to rippled as they walked swiftly. It was a she-cat, her sharp angular features of the face and her lean body gave it away immediately. Her white and gray fur stood out against the brown and green background, but she did not care. She wanted to be noticed, in fact. It was better if she was. Then she would not have to bother with boring "Hey who are you!" She was almost certainly the most noticeable cat in Thunderclan. She looked like she belonged to Riverclan, by the texture and hue of her fur. I most certainly am not, however! She was arguably the most loyal warrior in the clan. In her mind, no one cared about the clan like she did. They were her family, the only things she had left in her life to keep her going, to have her back. And she had their back. In fact, that was why she was out here.

She was out on a border patrol of her own making. Yes, alone. Logically speaking, it probably was not the smartest idea. But if you factored in her battle skills, awareness, and frame of mind, her odds greatly increased. She was a lone she-cat, what clan would find that threatening? Exactly. None. She was not crossing the border anyway, so they could not get upset. She would not dare break the warrior code. She only did that once, and it ended going terribly wrong for her. Never again. She shook her head and kept padding along the Thunderclan/Riverclan border. She had heard reports of badgers and foxes from her clanmates that had gone to the gathering, so she was even more alert. She had her maw slightly open, breathing in all the scents around her. She would not want to be caught off guard. But if she was, her clan was only a yowl away. Her voice was known for being loud. She was sure she would be able to reach at least some other cat in the forest if she needed to.

As she continued swiftly walking close to the river's edge, the warrioress noticed something peculiar. She stopped padding right where she was. The birds had stopped singing. The only sound that reached her ears was that of the breeze rustling the leaves. Her sky blue eyes went from the green leaves of trees to the brown trunks and branches of bushes. Her search of the area by sight failed to pick up anything unusual. She tried listening once more, her eyes swiveling around like radar. The silence was unnatural - ghostly. It made her muscles tense. She had this almost irresistible urge to break it by running and yowling. Something was not right here, she could feel it. She opened her maw wider and took a deep breath, tasting the smells that swirled around her. As soon as she did, she wished she hadn't and just kept walking. The scent she picked up was her worst fear come back to life. Her eyes widened; the fur on the back of her neck stood on edge. No! No it can't be! She turned in circles trying to find the source of her fear, but to no avail. Then her eyes rested on a black tom just a few tail lengths away. His green eyes gave him away.

She saw her mentor, Addergaze, staring her in the face.

Her breathing stopped. She was pretty sure her heart did, too. He smiled, as if basking in her fear. He took a step toward her, and she took a step away. No. No, no, no! She couldn't bring herself to speak. Fear coursed through her veins. It took over her, crashing all her responses. But then something happened. She counted. One.... two... three... four.... five. She took a deep breath, and her fear fled. It's raging flood had been calmed to not even a mere trickle. She stood up straight, all her sense alert. She stared her tormentor in the eyes. You do not scare me, Addergaze. Her voice was firm and steady. She was a completely different cat then just a few moments ago. His smile only got wider. Good. Because I'm not really here.

Confusion entered into her eyes. It was written all over her face. How could he not be here? He was standing right in front of her.... You're hallucinating! The realization gripped the she-cat's stomach and twisted it.

No. No it's impossible! Addergaze laughed just as the thought entered into her mind. Oh, it is possible sweetheart. He stepped closer and reached out his tail. It brushed her cheek, and it felt real enough. But it also felt ghostly, as if it were just a memory of what it felt like. The touch that she used to crave, even yearn for, now caused her to shudder. She backed away more, shying away from his tail. Anger filled his eyes. You did this to yourself! You caused me to do those things! It is all your fault Cinder!

He came rushing toward her, but she only backed away and dodged him. He recovered quickly though and came at her once more, this time with an unnatural speed. He knocked into her as if he were a real cat, and suddenly there was no ground beneath her. She was in the air, falling down a short cliff into the water. Her tormentor disappeared, and tears swelled in her eyes. Why? Why was she torturing herself?

To any cat looking, it would have looked like she simply fell.

Her back hit the rushing water first. She sunk down almost the bottom. Her eyes wide open, she fought her way to the top. She broke the surface of the rapids rather quickly, and let out a gasp for air. She couldn't swim. The water froze her muscles. She knew how, but she couldn't make herself do so. The freezing water was not as cold as it was in winter, but it was enough to make it hard to breathe. She let out a sharp yowl for help. HELP! ANYONE! She managed to get out the words before going back under the water. Her mind was not working, she couldn't do this by herself. She struggled to get back on the top, letting out yet another shrieking yell.

If someone didn't come soon, she would die here in this river, killed by a cat that her mind created.

[/font]

C I N D E R F R O S T

muse wonderful!
word count 1167.
music Three Days Grace.
comments someone come save my little kitty.

[sammonroll]

Hulkfury sat silently in a bed of reeds, eying a particularly plump water vole near the edge of the water. It had gone on with no suspicions that anyone was watching, mindlessly munching on a stalk of grass. Hulkfury hadn't come here to hunt, but if a juicy meal was going to pleasantly present itself like that, he wouldn't refuse. It was opportunistic hunting.

The warrior licked his lips and bunched his muscles, preparing for a rewarding pounce, when the vole glanced behind itself and ran away. What the-! Sharp green eyes immediately caught the source of the agitation. He recognized Cinderfrost right away from the way her flashy pelt caught the light. He took a deep breath and tried to think of anything positive. I'll bet she hunts great in Leafbare. Hulkfury was the opposite, hidden in as just part of the grass. He crouched closer to the ground where the stalks of green were darker, and the color matched nicely with his pelt.

He smirked when the she-cat stopped. This had happened all too many times before. Cinderfrost had clearly noticed something was off. He expected no less from a senior warrior. But here is where everyone had trouble. They could tell someone was there, but even when they set their eyes directly on him, they missed him entirely. Out of habit, Hulkfury half-closed his eyes, knowing that a glint from the sunlight shining on them could give away his position.

But...cats weren't usually quite this agitated. He could smell her fear spreading around. This made the tom's heart drop. It brought him a rush of half-memories, collages of part fear-stricken faces and part mysterious darkness. The dark tom took a pawstep out of his hiding place, hoping to calm her down, but it only seemed to frighten her into the water.

"No no no! I won't hurt you!" Hulkfury yowled as he watched his Clanmate fall. Aw crap, she isn't swimming! SWIM, mousebrain! He hesitated greatly, half-lunging forward and then pausing. If he had scared her this much, would she really want him to save her? Besides, there were a couple clanmates that very obviously stayed clear of his presence, and his accompanying temper. They probably wouldn't like his help.

Cinderfrost yowled as she surfaced, but his self-conflicting thoughts distracted him from her meaning. "Ah, screw it."

With one powerful bound into the sunlight, the tom dazzled in green where the light hit his pelt perfectly. It was an impressive leap, but no one ever noticed. All they noticed was the green. It was annoying, infuriating even, but he had lived with it all his life and learned to channel the anger. He strove to prove himself everyday, so that someone would notice that he wasn't all flaw.

Hulkfury landed with a thud on the edge of the river closest to Cinderfrost. She had merely fallen in, so she wasn't particularly far from the edge. He dipped one paw into the water and found a shallow rock to balance himself on. His back leg stuck out to steady his body and he reached his jaws over to the panicked cat's scruff. Without too much strain, he pulled her against the edge, and lifted her back onto the grass.

He looked at her, somewhat panicked himself. "I'm not that scary!" he insisted louder than he meant it. He noticed his mouth was tense, and noticed his teeth were out. He took a deep breath and relaxed. "I'm so sorry," he huffed out in one desperate breath, as if asking forgiveness for every wrongdoing he had ever committed.

[` `shadsywadsy.]

She knew she was going to die. She knew it. There was no way anyone would be able to help her. No one would hear her screams, her pleas for assistance. Even if they did, why would they risk their lives just to save one petty, useless she-cat.

Exactly. They wouldn't.

She felt the water's crushing waves enter her lungs. She gasped for breath, but only water came. She was drowning. All because of her stupid mind. First it created a cat that wasn't there, and now it wouldn't let her muscles work. She struggles against the icy waves, but to no avail. She felt her life draining, and stopped trying.

Then, something happened. She felt jaws and teeth grip into her neck. They pulled her out of the water, and she landed with a thud. Spitting water with her eyes closed, the cat tried to speak to her. She wasn't really listening, though. She was too preoccupied with the fact that she was alive. She was on the brink of death, and this cat, this Tom had brought her back. She opened her eyes to see the green fur of Hulkfury standing above her. She knew of him, who in Thunderclan hadn't, but never really spoke to him. She coughed up the last bit of water left in her lungs as she tried to process what had happened.

When she realized he was apologizing for scaring her and she looked into his emerald eyes, she knew her mind had made her think he was Addergaze. When he most certainly was not. He was apologizing for something he had no control over. She looked at him with joyful blue eyes. Oh my dear, do not apologize. You are my savior today, not my offender. Her joyfulness changed to pity shortly, before a smile appeared on her face once more. She stood up, her legs still a little unsteady. Her body shook as she dried out her fur briefly. As she began licking the fur on her chest down, her scars became more noticeable than usual. She was sure it was the same for her marred leg and right side. But she was sure a cat with Hulkfury's reputation he would not mind the sight of a few scars.

She let silence ensue for but just a moment before speaking once more. How can I ever repay you Hulkfury? She was hoping that he would know who she was, and would not need to say her name. Of course, she could not expect anyone to know every cat in Thunderclan. Still, she reached up and briefly touched her nose to his cheek, a token of her appreciation.

She took a couple steps back afterwards, hoping he would stay and converse with her. She understood if he decided to just leave. She wouldn't blame him. It would be awkward talking to a cat that you thought you just scared into almost drowning. Though, he hadn't left by now. Maybe something was keeping him here. Her eyes stared into his, almost oblivious to his unnatural fur. It did not really bother he. Yes, she thought it was weird. And yes, she thought it to be rather distracting, but that was no reason not to respect him. After all, she respected everyone else. And he was a cat, too, just like her. He had feelings and thoughts and felt pain, just like her. He hunted and fought for his clan just like her. His fur color was no reason to exile him from love and attention and respect.

And so she waited, and hoped he would stay with her.

C I N D E R F R O S T

[/div]

[sammonroll]

The desperate look in Hulkfury's eyes quickly changed to one of surprise when the warrior he had just frightened into the water had thanked him so completely for merely fixing his own dumb mistake. Receiving such outright thanks hardly occurred to him. Usually it was given in reluctance, if at all, or at least more conservation. He started to stammer and shake his head, wanting to say that it wasn't necessary, but not able to get the words out. He stopped trying when she sat up to dry herself. He licked his currently black chest in an attempt to fill the silence as she tried to dry herself off. He noticed Cinderfrost glancing at her scars, but thought nothing of it. Appearances made no difference to him. If he let vanity cloud his view, then he would only justify any other cat's discrimination towards him. If anything, the scars only told a story of harsh battling.

Regardless, he was used to seeing them. She was a Clanmate, after all, one he was sworn to protect and serve. Every member of ThunderClan was important. There was no question of respecting her. Hopefully his temper wouldn't disagree.

When she spoke again, it left Hulkfury speechless once more. "How can I ever repay you Hulkfury?" He left his maw open for a bit, trying to find the words. "Repay?" he tried to clarify. His eyes grew distant and he muttered again, "Repay..." For a moment, he was silent. It might have looked to the thankful she-cat that he was concocting some sort of complicated repayment proposition. But his thoughts were on the word itself, just the word. It rang rather foreign to his ears.

He soon snapped himself out of it, "Uhh no, it's awright. Anyone else woulda done the same, after all. D-do you need medicine? Maybe we should get you back to camp."

Inwardly, Hulkfury was practically drowning in relief. He felt no bubble of rage and, while he knew Cinderfoot, he had never really spoken to her. He was used to not knowing his clan members too well personally. A lot of them had reason to be wary, although he really wished it wasn't that way. But, this first conversation seemed to be going okay. He looked at her with earnest, almost kit-like eyes. Friendliness for Hulkfury was hard to come by and he was in awe whenever it arrived.

[` `shadsywadsy.]

Cinderfrost watched as the warrior in front of her tried to find the words. As he did, she took the chance to glance at his fur. It was a harmless glance, motivated by pure curiosity. She had the urge to touch it, to feel it. It was such a strange hue, and it intrigued her. It did not frighten her, nor did his reputation. She was cautious, and she did not trust him, but here he was in front of her.

And the stammering warrior that sat there most certainly was not a ruthless, ticking time bomb.

She listened as he told her everything was fine, but she should get medicine. Her smile was similar to one a mother would give her kit. Perhaps I will go later, but for now, I feel fine. She looked him over quickly, trying to make sure that he didn't need medical attention himself. She had no idea if she had hurt him before her fall. Although nothing came up on her initial scan, she thought it best to ask anyway. What about you, my hero? Do you need Patchwhisker as well? Her voice was deep, not really usual for she-cats. Her mother, when she was alive, often compared it to the river. Ironic, considering that the river had almost killed her.

Cinderfrost knew Hulkfury would say he didn't. It was classic tom to do so. But she hoped in asking it would make him understand why she did not want to go. All the questions that would surround her, and him for that fact. She didn't want to have to explain to Wolfstrike that Hulkfury had not hurt her, rather she had simply misjudged the distance she was from the edge. She had a feeling cats wouldn't accept that as an answer. They would accuse him of pushing her in, and she did not want that for him.

Especially when the real reason she fell in scared her more than the tom sitting in front of her.

In an attempt to shake the thoughts from her head and maybe even prove that she was strong, Cinderfrost wiggled her body. See, look. I'll prove to you that I'm fine! The she-cat started to bound around, taking overexaggerated leaps about the clearing he had pulled her into. She looked comical. Her serious, stand-offish appearance looked out of place acting like a kit. When she appeared almost in front of him again, she rolled herself onto the ground. She wriggled her back in the grass, paws up in the air. A small giggle escaped her maw as she rolled over to appear underneath him. Her paw gently batted at his chest. Why so serious, Hulkfury? Have a little fun sometimes. I won't hurt you. She stood up, facing the greenish-black Tom once more. A smile appeared on her face. She had not smiled this much in a while, since before her parents had been murdered by her mentor. Since she had lost her kits in the middle of the night.

She closes her eyes and then opened them again slowly. She would not think of those things now. Those were thoughts for when she was alone, not now. Now, she had to devote her full attention to Hulkfury, and would give him nothing less than he deserved.

C I N D E R F R O S T

[sammonroll]

Slightly confused at her question, he glanced over himself to make sure he hadn't hurt himself and forgotten about it in the socializing. That would have been embarrassing. And he wasn't quite ready to go back to camp yet. He'd probably end up being chastised for shoving his Clanmate into the water. Even though Cinderfrost certainly seemed to appreciate his help he didn't know if everyone else would feel the same. Besides, it was nicer to chat here with one warrior than face isolation again from many.

Perhaps isolation was putting it too harshly. The other warriors generally treated him with respect after all these moons of showing he was a capable warrior. But had Hulkfury not had a temper to deal with, he would have been a very lovable friend to many. His two sides conflicted too much, and made the bad side seem all the worse.

A red emotion began seeping from the tingling tips of his paws. The injustice of it all reared its ugly head whenever he thought too much about it. However, a silly leap from Cinderfrost cast it away, bringing his attention back to her. He watched her, his face keeping the same expression from his darker thoughts, very serious and silent.

A smile returned to his face when she batted at him and teased, "Why so serious, Hulkfury? Have a little fun sometimes. I won't hurt you."
He prodded her side with a massive paw. "A skinny cat like you? Hurt me?" He looked at her skeptically, while puffing his chest out to make the already large tom even bigger. He had to suck in a lot of air and hold his breath in order to keep up this appearance, and it looked similarly as ridiculous as her previous prancing. After holding the pose for a moment, he huffed his breath back out and deflated himself. His guard was coming down and his actual, very easy-going personality was coming out. His physical guard was hardly ever up, for not many cats would go out of their way to attack him. His emotional guard, however, was on 24-hour watch. Hulkfury wasn't born with a steely heart, and even after his whole life's moons, he still didn't have a very good barrier, but it was better than nothing in trying to deal with the cats who felt they had already given him enough chances.

Why didn't I meet her earlier? Ahh, just one chance, Hulk. He was comfortable, but still noticeably cautious.
"Cinderfrost," he said, glancing at her to make sure he was okay to proceed. "If your idea of fun is jumping into the river then I think you should head over to RiverClan." He smiled gently, making sure to show he didn't mean anything by it.

[` `shadsywadsy.]

She giggled at his comment about her being skinny. She was lean, yes, but she had muscles on her bones. She most certainly was not skinny. Short, perhaps compared to him, but she liked to consider herself of average build all around. His comment made her look down at herself just to make sure she had not been wrong all these moons. With a goofy grin on her face, she felt at ease. Something she hadn't felt for many moons.

Cinderfrost, if your idea of fun is jumping into the river then I think you should head over to Riverclan.

this simple comment made by a simple tom, Cinder laughed. A melodic laugh escaped her maw, and a genuine smile spread across her face. She quickly stopped though. Surprise filled her eyes, and she stared at him with almost relieved eyes. She took a step closer to him, gazing into his green eyes trying to figure out what it was about him. No one had been able to make her laugh since her parents murder. Not like that, not so genuinely. She did not have to fake it around this tom. When she realized he was probably wondering what in Starclan's name was going on, she decided to explain. Not only have you saved my life today, but you have saved my heart. I have not laughed since I was an apprentice. And yet, here you are, making me giggle like star struck kit. She paused, and stepped away from him. She had been a little close, anyway. She did not wish to invade his personal space. I do not know you, Hulkfury, but I have seen enough to know that in your heart She took her paw and placed it on his chest to add emphasis to her words, to make him understand. you are good tom. No matter what the whispers of the ignorant say, you are good. She removed her paw from his chest, and waited for his response.

She had gone from silly to serious in a nanosecond, but that was not uncommon for her to do these days. She was not bipolar, she just had alot of things she needed to say. Some things came to her at the most inopportune times. She felt impressed to tell cats things alot, and being the blunt she-cat she was she would not dare deprive them of knowledge she possessed. Most cats had lost faith in Starclan, but she had not. She believed that just because they could not communicate did not mean they were not there.

She also believed that the medicine cats were not trying hard enough to communicate. Her mother always told her that communicating goes both ways. And if one side isn't ready to hear it, then nothing will be heard. She had told Patchwhisker this, but he seemed to take no heed to her. She was just a she-cat warrior, what could she know?

Snapping her attention back to Hulkfury, Cinderfrost twitched her tail slowly in anxiety. She hoped that he would react kindly to her words who's mission was only to aide.

C I N D E R F R O S T

[sammonroll]

Hulkfury's eyes sparkled like the Emerald City at sunhigh at the tinkling of Cinderfrost's laughter. If she hadn't laughed since her apprenticeship, he hadn't made anyone laugh since his apprenticeship. Well, not for the right reasons, anyhow.

But suddenly the mood shifted towards a serious side. He started to feel a uncomfortable, and his paws subconsciously began to knead the ground. What happened to, why so serious? She was speaking of his good heart. On one hand, it was part of what he always wanted to hear. On the other hand...

"You're wrong," Hulkfury spoke clearly, looking into her eyes. But the stare didn't last; his gaze soon drifted back towards the grunt. He laughed nervously and mumbled, "What the ignorant say? Maybe you're the ignorant one. N-not like-!" He looked back again at her with concern. He didn't mean any insult, but he didn't know quite how to explain. He sighed.

"A Clan cat shouldn't hurt his own clanmates. I mean, if anyone else were gonna hurt you, or any other ThunderClan cat, why I'd..." Hulkfury grit his teeth and his claws tore at the grass absentmindedly.

"But if that's how it is, then what do I do with myself?" he asked earnestly, not directed to Cinderfrost, but more towards himself. His head snapped up with fire in his eyes, but not the angry kind. "I'm not done yet. I'm not done protecting everyone. Then I'll be good. Then you can call me a hero. Not yet."

Sure, Hulkfury was upset everyday that nobody gave him a chance, but on a deeper level, he felt like he deserved it. He felt guilt everyday, the lack of friends just made it more poignant. But he accepted it. He knew he had to prove himself, not only to them, but to himself. The other cats were only a reflection of how he had done. Sure Cinderfrost might have seen him being nice, but that was not his atonement. Once his Clan accepted Hulkfury as family again, he would forgive himself. But what were the chances that every warrior would accept him? Being the best warrior he could be was all he could do to keep from getting further isolated, and it was all that gave him any sense of purpose.

[` `shadsywadsy.]

Cinder watched as the warrior tried to explain to her that he was not a good person. Bull. He's giving me a load of bull shit. She debated in her mind whether or not to slap him in the face. She was worried she might trigger the famous anger that he had, but this tom needed it. Him? Not a hero? After all he had done today? And then calling her ignorant? Oh no. This would not work. The she-cat felt her impulsive, brutally honest nature come out of the woodwork of her mind.

She reached out a sheathed paw and hit him across the face. She had decided it was worth it. It was not just a tap either, it was a pretty good blow. She had only spared some of her strength of the tom. She took a step closer, showing no fear of an attack from him. Her eyes grew wide with fire, but not with anger. She was just emotional about this. The same fire was in his eyes, she could see it as she gazed into them.

You look me in the eyes Hulkfury. You look into them and tell me I'm ignorant. I did not spend moons training and learning just to be ignorant! I didn't watch my mentor murder my parents just to ignorant. I know what I'm talking about. I have seen it all. These words I say have meaning, they are not just empty. Cinderfrost drew a deep breath; she was on the brink of tears. They were welling up inside her, because she hated to see him hurting. Now Hulkfury, you do not need to prove yourself to anyone. You do not need to be the best warrior to make up for the past. I made mistakes - huge mistakes - but I forgave myself. Because its done. I can't do anything about it anymore. So move on, and stop beating your heart up about things that you can do nothing about.

She paused, but was no where near done. Her eyes were no longer on the verge of tears, she had sucked them back into her heart, but she took another step closer so their noses were almost touching. And one last thing. You are who you are. No matter who that is, you have to learn to accept yourself as that. Your life has only just began Hulkfury, and you still have many decisions to make. You must learn to trust in yourself to take the controls and stop letting others tell you who you are. Because only you can decide that.

Now that she had finished with her advice giving rant, the she-cat took a couple steps back. She hung her head, but not because she was ashamed of what she said. She was upset that others would make a tom feel this way - that they would exclude him like this. You will always be my hero, Hulkfury, and that's all that should matter. I will always be there for you. The words were whispered under a hushed voice, but she would not be surprised if he heard them. His hearing was probably acute enough to do so. Plus the wind carried them to him. She lifted up her head, the tears coming back now. The mention of Addergaze had brought everything back to her. She sat down, to emotionally drained to stand. She did not know what to think, what to say. She looked back down to the ground, hiding her tears. She wanted to help herself so much and she couldn't, that now she was helping others that she otherwise would not have.

You and I are not so different Hulkfury.

C I N D E R F R O S T

[sammonroll]

The damp she-cat had a few choice words for Hulkfury, who was expecting a less passionate response than he was dealt. Here she stood, exactly what Hulkfury wanted, but never what he expected. The belief in him from a warrior who hardly knew him was astounding. Tears started to well up in his eyes.

At the same time, the expression on his face became ferocious from the moment her paw pad touched his whisker, aiming nicely for the middle of his cheek. His breathing deepened in a subconscious attempt to calm himself, but his pulse was steadily climbing against the effort. In his heart, he could feel her words, but his mind was having none of that. He glared at her, his teeth bared. Who is this miserable she-cat who thinks she can tell you who you are? Hulkfury had trained for half of his apprenticeship and all of his warrior days to deal with the ideas the other cats had about him. But this problem was exactly opposite, and he had no defense mechanism in place. His heart ached, fearing the worst. Cinderfrost was sweet and gave him all he ever worked for. But the suddenness of Hulkfury's goal rushing up to him had caught him off guard. It ruined the work. Was this all it had come to? Would she take his purpose in life away?

Inside, he screamed at himself. You take care of ThunderClan because you care for everyone! Yes, this was true. A darker side of him growled back, But if you didn't secretly hate everyone for treating you differently, would you be working so desperately? He anguished inwardly. Leave it to his anger to make up harsh accusations.

Although the inside battle was far more multifaceted, the expression of sheer fury remained unchanging on Hulkfury's face. His eyes, usually sparkling green, had grown dark from the intensity of his stare. They slanted under his furrowed brow and his ears lay flat back against his head. His mouth had closed since getting slapped, done in an extreme effort to keep his anger from coming out, as if sealing up the doors would keep the monster trapped in.

"You and I are not so different Hulkfury."

The green warrior's eyes grew wider at these presumptuous words. He wanted to shout, Not so different? Not so different! Maybe not for feeling how life jus' sucks sometimes, sure, but! but! Not so different. While you were pitied for your errors and comforted by our family, the Clan, I was punished for them and despised. Left on the edge of our territory because no one wanted to bring me back HOME.

He opened his mouth wide to tell her that exactly, but all that came out was a hot puff of air. It pissed him off more. He couldn't control himself, he couldn't defend himself, he couldn't attack, he couldn't do anything.

He tried again, and managed, in the next exasperated heave of breath, "No." A single syllable, packed with all the heat his headache offered and all the storm that currently raged within every tensed muscle, within every eager claw.

[` `shadsywadsy.]

In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

The she-cat was slightly angered by his single worded response, but she wasn't blaming him for anything. He was probably trying to control his anger or something. In all honesty, she didn't know exactly what she was expecting from him. What did she hope to accomplish by all that anyway? She should have kept her mouth shut, that's what she should have done. Should've kept your mouth shut Cinder. But what else was she supposed to do? Emotions swarmed in her head, her head still hanging. Her legs started to shake, but not too noticeably, thank Starclan. She could feel the heat of her tears on her eyes, and for the first time in a long time she realized how broken she truly was. For Starclan's sake she was seeing cats that weren't there! And talking to them! And letting them push her off cliffs! And in the middle of her emotional breakdown Hulkfury appeared. In all his glory, he, of all cats, had to come and save her from certain death. Maybe a part of her had wanted to die, to be done with the pain. Maybe that was why she couldn't swim.

Words wouldn't form on her lips. They tried, but empty sounds just fell to the ground, meaningless and senseless. She was two inches from a full scale breakdown, and she didn't want Hulkfury to see it. But if she ran off, she would seem like an attention-needing freak. But she couldn't just let this go either. He needed to hear this, he needed her. He needed a friend at the least. She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, making her tears recede. She would help him if it was the death of her. No? You don't think I don't know what it's like to feel left out, to feel like you're not wanted? You don't think I don't know what it feels like to hate yourself? Or hate those around you? That I don't know what it's like to feel like your mind's betraying you? Like you have to prove yourself in order to be loved, to fit in. You think I don't know what it's like to squirm under the heated stares? Or cringe under the whispers that float around you? I do Hulkfury.

She stood up again. But her voice wasn't heated. It was soft, caressing, even melodic. She kept it low, like a mother soothing kit would, but demeaning. She got close to the tom, so close her breath mingled with his. She rasped her tongue against his cheek, a desperate attempt to calm him. Maybe I don't understand your anger, what it's like to deal with that. But just because our situations are different my hero, doesn't mean our feelings are. And even if I can't understand, I'll do my best to try.

She brushed her cheek against his, stretching her neck in order to reach his ear with her maw. So why don't we call ourselves friends? A smile crept on her face as she backed away slightly, but was still rather close to him. Closer than most cats in their clan would dare get. She was sure she looked tiny compared to the massive tom, in fact she knew it. If anyone came running up on their little conversation, she guessed they would have a thing or two to say on how "reckless" she was being. It was a good thing she stopped caring a long time ago.

C I N D E R F R O S T

[sorry it took so long for me to reply...]

[sammonroll]

Hulkfury's mind was processing everything extremely slowly now. His self-control had been leaking out ever since the beginning of the conversation, and now the last reserves of it were running low. He tried to listen to the kindness in the she-cat's voice, but every word she spoke just blurred past his ears. He glared at her, but his image of her even started getting foggy. His stare became more and more intense as he tried to keep his vision straight, but soon, the background grew black and Cinderfrost was but a white silhouette of a cat in front of him. His ears couldn't hear her properly anymore, but her words occasionally whizzed by him.

"hate"
"betraying"
"prove yourself"
"I do, Hulkfury."

These words had already been spoken long before, but only after she finished speaking did he catch their meaning. Everything was slow. He didn't even feel her tongue against his cheek. He didn't realize how close she was. In his mind, she still stood a normal distance in front of him. Still talking, even though in reality she was quiet, her nose almost touching his while she waited for a response to her question. But the green giant was still trying to figure everything out. In this mass confusion, he screeched.

With an expression contorted into monstrous features, the tom opened his jaws as wide as they would let him and let out a sound reminiscent of their LionClan ancestors. If any prey had chosen to stick around while these warriors were conversing, they had fled now.

A massive paw reached up, with claws outstretched, pulling back for a great spring of force. Hulkfury's eyes looked dead into Cinderfrost's, but seemed as if they didn't really see her - as if he was aiming for air that happened to be where the warrioress stood. As he pulled his paw back, more words from earlier started to hit him.

"understand"
"anger"

Hulkfury's paw stopped, muscles tensed, ready for a battle-ready strike.

"my hero"

The readied paw relaxed a little. The tom's eyes regained a little of their former color's glory, and his face turned more to confusion than anger.

"...why don't we call ourselves friends?"

Hulkfury's breath returned to normal from its deep, deliberate breathing patterns from earlier and he coughed roughly. He put his paw down and nested it against himself. His tail wrapped around his paws, and his face grew hot with shame.

Half a sob escaped his lips, but his guilt prevented him from fully expressing it. He closed his eyes, and dropped his head, resting it on Cinderfrost's little shoulder. "That's prolly not such a good idea."

[` `shadsywadsy.]

In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

Fear and panic raced through the female's body as the massive warrior before her began to rear his paw back. Her eyes grew wide as she watched his face wrinkle into pure anger. It was unlike she had ever seen before. Not even Addergaze had this much anger inside of him. Her fear turned into awe as she continued to watch his paw act like a spring that was aiming straight for her. But she didn't flinch, she didn't move. She stayed put and stood her ground, confident that he would not actually strike her. Her icy gaze peered into his emerald, her big eyes pleading with him to stop. Her white and gray fur was slightly on end, slightly puffed out from all her anxiety and she was sure most of it was because it was drying. She had, after all, almost drowned in a river just moments before. She took in a deep breath and braced her body for the blow that she was about to be dealt. Yes, she could have run, but that would not have helped him. She would sit here and take it like a man. She had angered him, this was her fault, she had provoked him. And so she would take the consequences.

And as she looked into the angry green eyes, she was suddenly reminded of Addergaze and how intriguing his eyes were all up until they watched in glory as he killed her parents.
Her mind fluttered back to that day, that tragic day, and she watched in horror all over again as her parent's blood spilled onto the ground at the claws of her mentor - her lover. She felt the pain rip through her heart as she cried herself to sleep under the haunting memory. She felt her heart break once again at the death of her unborn kits. But none of it was happening again, she was just feeling it again. Her eyes refocused in on the tom before her, who's paw was still raised in the air. She had gone through all that and survived, she had scars from many cats before this one. She would survive from this, and she would not let this ruin anything between them.

Then he set his paw down, like he had suddenly had a change of heart. She relaxed her body as she saw the shame in his eyes. He wouldn't meet her gaze, she assumed he was too ashamed to do so, but she could see the pain written like an open book all over his face. He closed his eyes and dropped his head on her shoulder and told her he didn't think that was such a good idea. A smile once again stood blatantly on her face, but for half a second she didn't know what to do. It was such a sudden change, such an abrupt change, her mind couldn't really process it fast enough.

But then she let her whole body relax and reached her tail up to gently stroke the back of his neck. Her sky blue eyes were filled to the brim with understanding, not another emotion anywhere in sight. She then took her tail and placed it under his chin, applying the slightest amount of pressure in hopes he would look up at her. Well I suppose it's for the best. She put a small little sigh in her voice as she paused for a moment to take a deep breath. I don't think you could handle me anyways. She let out a laugh, a honest laugh, one not faked or forced, as she dipped her shoulder away from the tom. Her tail unfurled itself back to it's excited position and her smile was wide. She would make this tom her friend if it was the last thing she did.

If you're scared you'll hurt me dear Hulkfury, you shouldn't be. You should be concerned about me! She crouched down low, her hind quarters in the air, waving around. Her claws were sheathed, but she kneaded the ground with her paws like they weren't. Her smile was still there, and the posture looked more funny than fericous. With my teeth as sharp as a tiger's She opened her mouth wide to show him, but ended up in a coughing fit which turned into a laughing fit which she had to control before she continue. And with my power that is second only to three badgers! She swatted at a rock in the dirt, making it fly off and a hit a tree. And of course, with my speed Windclan cat's only dream of! She darted from side to side briefly before standing erect once more. Oh yes, if I were you, I'd be running tail between my legs at the sight of me! She laughed again, hoping that her little charade would cheer the tom up as well as show him she wasn't afraid. She was a determined little warrioress, and nothing could stop her from reaching her goals, not even fear.

C I N D E R F R O S T

[sammonroll]

Hulkfury felt a lump in his throat when the she-cat agreed. It hurt, but it was right. Otherwise, who knows what would happen next time? Her tail lifted his chin up, and he followed, but still refused to look at her. His eyes were cast down, and if he were a a lighter color, one might have caught the red mark of shame, hot on his face.

"I don't think you could handle me anyways," Cinderfrost laughed, snapping his attention from his thoughts to her. He was puzzled at first, but as she performed in front of him, a shy grin crept up his cheek. His heart lifted once again, as he watched the fearless warrior show her strength. Sure, she was only kidding around, but in doing so, he realized how strong she truly was. Not many warriors would joke around Hulkfury, and he couldn't think of one that would stick around long after they came face to face with his temper. He was still wary though. This was certainly just another dangerous road that would lead to yet one more attack on a clanmate. But Hulkfury couldn't help but be optimistic; he couldn't help but accept the companionship that this she-cat offered. The green tom had been isolated for so long that, how could he say no to friendship?

He giggled at her brave words, remembering how this whole encounter came to be in the first place. "You forgot...your swimmin' ability - greater than anyone in RiverClan." He swiped her ear lightly with a paw, calling her bluff. "Now you'll just have to be meaner than ShadowClan, and you can rule the whole forest!"

[` `shadsywadsy.]

In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

The she-cat let a laugh tumble through the air as the tom commented on her needs to become the most feared warrior in all the clans. But as he mentioned swimming, she admitted fear shook at her paws as she remembered why they had met in the first place. The bright green eyes of the black tom standing in front of her turned vicious suddenly, but she blinked and they went away. Hulkfury was just Hulkfury. He wasn't Addergaze. She had to keep reminding herself of that, she had to keep repeating it over and over until she believed it. Except, Addergaze could be anyone. Because Adder was all in her mind. He wasn't really here, not anymore. But he wasn't dead either, at least, she didn't think so. The she-cat let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. I wonder how long I was out this time..

She put a smile back on her face and hoped that her thoughts hadn't made her drift for too long. She stood erect in front of the warrior, wondering what to do next. Come on, follow me. Her sky blue eyes lit up like lightning lights the night sky as she brushed past her hero, their fur mixing together she was so close. She curled her tail around his chin and neck, and let it drag down his body as a signal for him to follow her. She walked at a steady pace, swift but not running. She gracefully jumped over the roots and such that stuck up from the ground as the forest changed began to change from oaks to pines. They were in the part of Thunderclan that hardly any cats dared to enter, the pine forest. This is where twolegs roamed sometimes and prey was scare. This was where Cinderfrost lived.

This is where she breathed, where she felt at home. The soft pine needles under paw made her paw steps silent as her graceful movements made it seem like she floating. She knew every branch, every root, every hole in this part of the territory. Its beauty was often misinterpreted by beauty - a beauty she saw. She saw this forest for what it really was, for beneath the scars, it was an elegant beast of noble descent. But no one ever bothered to take a second glance.

Just like her.

She came up on a tangle of thorns rather deep into the forest, but still within Thunderclan's boundaries. Not that it bordered another clan. Underneath them there was a hole that was not easily spot unless you were looking for it. She slipped underneath it and into a clearing. Five tall pines in a semi circle, encompassed by thorns, made for a great little shelter that sometimes she slept in. It smelled of her, and she was sure he could tell how often she had been here. She turned and waited for the tom to come inside with her, waited for his commentary on her home away from home.

C I N D E R F R O S T