Dustyshade of Windclan [Done]

[Shimmerz*]

NAME! Dustyshade
AGE! 53 Moons
RANK! Warrior
GENDER! Tom
CLAN! Windclan
SHORT DESC.! A massive light brown tom with amber eyes and a twisted leg

FULL DESCRIPTION!

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Dustypaw has resplendent amber eyes, which glow like honey from a beehive if his eyes catch a ray of light. His name came from his light brown fur is the color of dust. This fur allows him to easily blend into his surroundings. His twisted left forepaw, a birthing defect, is his main hinderance. While it does not give him trouble most of the time, it does prevent him from running as fast as other kits his size. Fortunately, he does have one advantage--he had a massive body. His body shape is that of power and not of speed. As a warrior this has made him a force to be reckoned because of his neutral pelt and impressive build.

PERSONALITY!

Dustyshade is ridden with great waves of mistrust and sadness, which evolved from his twisted limb. He does not fully trust anyone except for his family. Through this mistrust, he leads a very pessimistic lifestyle. The thing he hates the most is when people pity him because of his leg. He does not wish to be a victim of anyone's pity.

At first he truly had wanted to make a friend, but this desire faded as the fear of being shot down with laughter took over. Nowadays he is biting and harsh, the type of cat who only says nice things sarcastically and snaps at the simplest hello. Somehow though, through his mother's teachings he is still tolerant to she-cats; nonetheless, underneath that layer of kindness is a hurt and scared cat, who is filled with anger and reproach for all who dare to pity him.

What few know is that Dustyshade exhibits symptoms of what two-legs might call schizophrenia. He does well to hide it from others, but from himself? There's no chance. Often times, he hears a voice calling him away from reality, derailing him into his own, what a close friend once termed his "dark forest of despair." While Dustyshade found this a poor description for what he found a refuge, the name stuck. Simply put though, Dustyshade is a dissociative personality at its finest.

HISTORY!

Dustykit was born into the family of Runningclaw and Cinderfoot with two sisters: Alderkit and Ashenkit. It was solely with his family that he bonded simply because all the other kits and apprentices seemed to laugh at him or pity him because of his leg. Even the queens seemed to look at him with a sorrowful glance. It was these actions that hurt him the most. It became now nearly impossible for him to trust any cat with his whole heart, and it was from this he most suffered as a kit.

At one point, both his mother and Alderkit came down with greencough. While he loved his sister Ashenkit dearly, he became rather fed up with only having one companion to talk to. This led him to try to befriend Falconclaw's apprentice Berrypaw. It was at this time that he was an apprentice under the Windclan deputy Soldierclaw. While he was a bit confused why he had been chosen of all cats to work under the deputy, it was what it was.

As an apprentice and somewhat into his warrior life he developed feelings for Soldierclaw's daughter Orangepaw and later Orangeshine. He tried to hide his crush from her, but eventually it came out that she liked him back. These words put him into total shock. He didn't find himself particularly lovable, a waste of love if anything. With this he separated himself from her. It didn't help that Orangeshine also developed some jealousy over his friendship with Lunarflash.

As a warrior, Ficklestar assigned him Galepaw as an apprentice. This was particularly confusing to him because as mentioned before, Dustyshade thought little of himself. His first question to his apprentice was a prime indicator of this. "So Galepaw, tell me the truth, are you alright with having me as your mentor?" In the end, Galepaw didn't seem to have a qualm with him as her mentor, but she did wonder sometimes why he was always off on his own and why his build seemed so inappropriate for a Windclan cat--massive, not slender like the others.

RP EXAMPLE!

There he was all alone in the apprentice den. In the past six moons, he had come to love it there...if you could call it love. His feelings towards most things were weak. He didn't really love anything, and at the same time, he didn't hate anything. Most days were spent in seclusion aside from his training sessions with Soldierclaw and an occasional chat with Berrysong or Orangepaw. Aside from Ashenpaw and his mom, he had no family left. The relationship with his sister, in spite of shared blood, amounted to little...at least in his eyes. When he was a kit he had pushed her away. Then she had been sick for awhile, and after that...after that it was like he had no sister. It was a terrible thing to think, but it was true. When his dad had left him, he did shed a few tears but not much more. Oh, he started running off to his forest more, but that was only because less was anchoring him here. It was just getting so much easier to fade, drifting away to utter blackness.


"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Windy Tree for a Clan meeting." The tabby tom left his spot in the apprentice den. He had a feeling he knew what this would be about. They are going to make me a warrior...either that or throw me out of the clan like they should... Amber eyes peered around him. It was strange. His family had fallen apart, and yet here he stood amongst the clan. His mentor was proud of him somehow. He still didn't understand why or how. Sure, he had become an adequate apprentice despite his crippled nature, but he was still a jerk. Oh, he had tried to change his ways, but it was still there. He may not have right out made those rude comments, but there were certainly not the slightest bit subdued in his mind. There he cursed, like always. Mistrusted, like always. Ran away to his dark forest, like always. No, you have to believe you've changed. You have. You just won't believe it, he mumbled in an attempt to reassure himself. The tom stumbled forward. He might as well move up close that way when he stepped forward for the warrior ceremony, he wouldn't have to limp as much. Why it mattered at this point was beyond him. After all, everyone knew he had a mangled leg. Everyone knew he was a slower runner because of it. That fact alone was enough to discredit him as a Windclan warrior; nonetheless, here he was.

The tom sat stolidly until it was his time to rise. "Ashenpaw, Dustypaw, Cloverpaw, and Orangepaw please step forward." He did as he was told. As much as he resented his pathetic state, he still caught a glimpse of pride in his leader's eyes. "I, Ficklestar, Leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestor's to look down upon these apprentices. They have trained hard to learn the ways of your noble code, and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn." The feeling was really surreal. He never really expected this day to come. In a way, it was like death. One never expects their own death until they are close. Any exceptions are few and rare. "Do you promise to uphold the warrior code, and to protect and serve your Clan, even at the cost of your lives?" His throat went dry for a moment, but he found the words. "I do." He said them with conviction but at the same time, I certain doubtfulness. Certainly he would die for his clan, but he wasn't sure he could put up much of a fight. "Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your warrior names." His pelt tingled a bit. It was kind of exciting. Any moment now he would receive the name that he would hold for the rest of his days. He listened as Ficklestar named Cloverpaw and Ashenpaw. They were rather distant from him. It wasn't that he didn't know who they were. He just didn't know them personally. There were few he had known personally and even fewer than knew him. Orangepaw, Berrysong, Cinderfoot, and Soldierclaw.

"Dustypaw, from this moment you shall be known as Dustyshade. StarClan honors your courage and spirit as they welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan." The tom's eyes grew wide. Courage and spirit? While it was true that he was brave, and that he didn't let the petty things get in the way of accomplishing tasks, he had difficulty understanding the "spirit" part. I've never been happy. My presence has never made anyone happy. How is that spirit? If anything, my very presence is enough to ruin a perfectly good cat's day...like Orangepaw or Berrysong. They had chosen to associate with him, which he still could not understand. After all he was no more than a cantankerous fool. You are no more than that. It is true, the voice reminded him. For awhile, he had been devoid of the voice's presence, but soon the temptation grew too great and he broke. The voice started getting louder again, and he went back to his dark forest of despair. He must be talking about the fact I'm still alive. I haven't killed myself, nor have I let my defect hamper my training sessions. In fact, I've trained twice as hard in spite of them... The tom sighed. Maybe he really did have spirit, but having spirit wasn't going to help him chose between the two worlds. His world. Everyone else's world. Which one was better? Which one was worse? For the longest time he had been choosing the real world, but that had gotten too hard. Now he was stuck in between.

Ficklestar's words brought him out of deep thought. "Orangepaw, from this moment you will be known as Orangeshine, StarClan honors your kindness and hope as they welcome you as a full warrior of WindClan." The tom smiled to himself. Orangepaw, er Orangeshine, was exactly as he had said. She was far kinder than almost any other cat he had met. Very few were willing to reach into his dark world, but she had. Indeed, he could see the hope in her heart, too. No matter what came at her, she didn't give up. Starclan, if you're really there. Thank you for this friend that I don't deserve. Thank you for the fact that she doesn't have sense enough to flee from my presence. Just help me not to hurt her. If I do...if I do, give her sense to leave... His stare had gone entirely blank, so he didn't see the she-cat race up to him. His eyes opened wide as a rough surface rasped on his cheek. A tongue? Tabby-colored eyelids flickered to reveal Orangeshine. “I.. I'm sorry it's just that...” He stood frozen with shock as she spoke. “I think I love you.” The tom worked to form his thoughts into words. Love? Love? How could anyone love him? He was such an inconsiderate jerk. How could anyone love him? His claws dug deep into the dirt. It was all he could do to keep from exploding. It wasn't that he was mad at her, but he--he just wanted to tell her how foolish it was that anyone would love him; still, he bit his tongue remembering his mother's teachings. Be nice to she-cats.

The young tom was still in shock as his mom and mentor conversed. She loves me? The tom blinked meagerly. His mind rushed around in a torrent of confusion. "I...you...but..." He stared at her, compassion and confusion in his eyes. Slowly but surely the anger calmed, and he took a step towards her. He could see fear in her eyes, but why fear? Did she realize the terrible mistake she had made in loving him? He wanted to make her happy, to love her back, but he was almost certain he couldn't. His heart had become cold like Leafbare. Blinking his eyes he took another tentative step towards her. Bringing his voice to a whisper, he spoke. "Y-you really like me?" He still wasn't sure how to respond. If he made a mistake, he might break her heart. He couldn't let himself do that to her. No, he had to say something...but what?

[wc: 1,406 wow]

breakdown (c) Simp.[/justify][/blockquote]

[~Nighthunter~]

Accepted