the beginning [tails]

[` `shadsywadsy.]

It was still night when Shadow tried to quietly sneak out of the apprentice den. Then sun's rays could be seen trying to peak out from behind night's cold grasp, but that did not bother him. Shadow got up, stretched, and yawned quietly. He did not wish to disturb anyone else. They needed their sleep. He began to walk out of the den, and of course, since he was trying to be quiet he tripped over his own paw and landed on the ground with a loud thump. A few angered grumbles came out of his denmates maws, and he uttered an apology or something close to it. He continued walking out, seeing as he had no one to stop him. The air was crisp and clean. A fog blanketed the earth, but it wasn't too thick. He could still see a ways in front of him. Yawning, the tom apprentice headed out of camp. He hoped none of the now awakened apprentices would follow him. He wanted to be alone for a little while.

His large paws were surprisingly silent as they stepped across the bogs of his territory. He stayed on the high, dry grounds as much as he could, trying his best to not to get his pelt dirty. Not that he was concerned about his looks. In fact, he could care less. He just would rather not smell the bogs on him all day long. He took in a deep breath, gathering in the cold, burning air. It burned his throat as he took it in. But he loved it. It tasted clean and fresh.

As his paws stopped in front of the dead tree, the sun had finally escaped its dungeon and rose above the horizon. Its glorious rays warmed the earth, forcing its inhabitants to bow to its power. The massive tabby tom rejoiced in its warmth, the light shining off his glossy pelt. He streched toward its warmth briefly before jumping onto the tree. He dug his claws into the bark and scrambled his way up to the lowest branch. He perched himself on top of it, letting his tail and front paw dangle over the edge. He had already decided today would be a lazy day, and anyone who dared tried to break him of it would wish they hadn't.

Son, just what in starclan's name do you think you are doing?

Dad? As he realized he had spoke the word aloud, he instantly felt stupid. His father could not be there. It was impossible. He looked around though, alert and eyes searching for anything - anything that could remotely be his father. After his father had left a moon ago, he had been hearing him in his head, telling him right from wrong and teaching him just as he used to. He wasn't psychotic. Lightheart had said he wasn't. He said that Shadow was just mourning his loss in his own special way, and eventually it would be okay. Shadow took a deep breath and settled down. He put his chin back on the branch and closed his eyes. Maybe today would be different.

[muse] alright.
[music] mayday parade
[word count] too lazy to find out
[comments] cue the girl(;

[tails//]

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor, lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

m o t h p a w

The young ShadowClan apprentice had never been particularly good about sleeping. She tossed, she turned, but never found any respite from the real world. Mothpaw took her sleep troubles in stride. To her, every hour of sleep she lost was another hour she could gain back exploring her territory. So long as she caught some sleep the apprentice was perfectly content.

As the soft breaths of other apprentices stirred the air, Mothpaw was bright and beaming. Her dainty white-tipped paws itched as she stood just outside of the apprentice den. As a new apprentice, there was so much for her to explore. Mothpaw was quite tired of ShadowClan camp. In her kithood she had been very adventurous; exploring every nook and cranny that she was allowed. On one particularly fateful day, Mothpaw had even had the pleasure to chase after a toad! 

Unfortunately, those were the exciting days of the new. Nowadays, unless Mothpaw was amusing herself with a fellow clanmate, she was quite bored. Even when she was chatting with a clanmate, she often found herself disappointed with the conversation. A lot of her litter mates were trying too hard. They thought that they needed to act far older than they actually were. They spent all day training with their mentors and disapproved of her discovering. Mothpaw never understood where their sense of fun had gone. The gray tabby she-cat feared that her sense of fun would disappear, too.

Mothpaw's paws led her to The Dead Tree, a foggy yet peaceful part of camp. Upon arriving, the dead tree's strong, leafless limbs were enticing. Using Mothpaw's lithe, young body, she easily climbed up to tree's base. Being at the right time and place, Mothpaw spotted and heard the other apprentice's, Shadowpaw's, odd voice. 

"Not even quite," she mewed out indignantly, her paws clinging to the branch just above Shadowpaw's. If Shadowpaw's tone hadn't been so mysterious, the young apprentice would have ignored his statement. Now that she had spoken, there was no chance she could withdraw what she had said.

word count: pathetically 375
muse: haha low.
comments: I need to settle into her character ...

[` `shadsywadsy.]

Not even quite

The voice made the tom's eyes open wide. His hopes of it being a lazy day were now diminished. He lazily stood up on the branch, not even caring that the voice had come from above him. In his own due time, the tom looked up to see the eyes of... Oh god what is her name... She was an apprentice, of his clan, he had seen her around... He knew he knew it. Oh well, he decided to stall until he could remember it.

He jumped up to her branch, facing the she-cat with his bright amber eyes. A smile formed its way onto his maw, but it was noticeably forced. He was being cordial, nothing else. She had, after all, interrupted his day of laziness. Now he had to sit here and converse with her. Oh what a pain some cats were. Always demanding attention, barging in on a cat's obvious wish for solitude. Yes, he could have ignored her, but that would have been rude. And he would not dare miss a chance to show off his hard ass attitude. Oh no. He would not dare to miss a chance to show what his father had made him.

Well that's good. You would make a terrible father. His voice was playful and soft. He let the word's deep vibrations hang in the air before breathing them in himself. He let them settle, as he always did. He was all about appearances. Since he was obviously going crazy, he had to make it appear as if he was not. His father would kill him if he found out.

Then again, his father just might drive him crazy.

The large tabby mentally shook his head. He had to focus. All thoughts of his father were pushed to the back burner of his mind. Suddenly, the she-cat's name dawned upon him. Mothpaw. Yes, he remembered because moths are noctranual and she did not sleep well. That was probably why she was awake so early, but he did not really care, honestly. It was not his business nor his problem. Anything outside his sphere of drama, he ignored. Unless, of course, the cat just was dying to tell him their life story. He did have a smidge of respect. Cats tended to treat him as if he was exactly like his father, but he was not. He would never harm an innocent cat.

Now that you have interrupted my day of solitude apathy, would you like to join me in my palace, princess? He swept out his front paw and bowed his whole body to her. A smile was on his face when he looked back up at the calico warrioress. He stood up straight and walked past her toward the trunk of the tree. He dragged his tail on her chin and down her side as he did so, signaling his wish for her to follow him.

He leapt from one branch to another, going higher and higher until the branches got too thin. He looked back down just to make sure she was following him. Come, your highness. Come see your kingdom. The tabby made room for her on the branch and clawed off a few minor branches that blocked the way. As they fell down to the ground, the Boggs of Shadowclan and the moors of Windclan were within view. It was a breathtaking sight. Why he took her up here, he was not quite sure. Just seemed like the thing to do. He was a tom to be impulsive, how could he let her down?

S H A D O W P A W

[tails//]

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor, lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

m o t h p a w

Pretty dilute calico fur twitched above antsy, hot skin. When Shadowpaw leaped onto her branch, she bobbed up and down slightly with his added weight but otherwise did not budge. With her age and her relatively uneventful kithood, Mothpaw did not fear the slightly older tom or his advances on her. In fact, some might interpret her innocence as courage. Mothpaw's fluffy body approached the tom slowly, unsheathed paws hooking and unhooking from the tree branch carefully as she moved. The strong pine bobbed only slightly with her weight and careful movement. The odd, friendly tom spoke up by the time she had reached a comfortable position.

"Well that's good. You would make a terrible father,"

The apprentice let her loud, snorting laughter commence without any holds. The tree quivered with her amusement. "I was worried there for a sec," the she-cat meowed and snickered again. She was of course joking, considering she was a she-cat last time she checked. Mothpaw couldn't really help herself from giggling at everything he said. Since he had made the comment about his father, she hadn't been able to take him seriously. Clearly he was harmless, but she also had a feeling that he was slightly off of his rocker. What other excuse could he have for mistaking her for his father?

"Now that you have interrupted my day of solitude apathy, would you like to join me in my palace, princess?"

The young apprentice twitched her whiskers, barely having enough time to register his question before he bowed over. Mothpaw was hardly sure what to make of the apprentice. On one paw, he seemed willing to have fun with her which was a remarkable difference from her experience with other ShadowClanners. One the other hand, was he hallucinating? Without much focus, Mothpaw could see the tom turn his back to her and signal for her to follow. For a moment, Mothpaw had some hesitation about following the tom's ascent up the tree to its less stable branches. And it most definitely wasn't because she was afraid of heights.

"Come, your highness. Come see your kingdom,"

"I rule over all the land," Mothpaw meowed quietly, a new color of emotion, excitement, filling her eyes. After the tom lets out those words from the tops of the trees, the misgivings Mothpaw had about following him up the tree dropped off of her inexplicably, like weights too heavy for her to bare. Without saying much, Mothpaw scrambled over to the base of the tree and began to climb up to meet Shadowpaw. Admittedly, Mothpaw's movements were less cautious than they should have been. There was hardly more than a moment's pause between each inch her body was hoisted upwards. After all, Mothpaw didn't want to keep her new found friend waiting for too long. And anyways, what can possibly happen on the top of a tree? She asked herself as she climbed, not thinking of the most obvious answer at all. Mothpaw was too interested in the prospect of playtime to bother with the concept of danger.

Once by the branch Shadowpaw had lighted off, Mothpaw stopped. The she-cat was suddenly aware of just how high up she had gotten herself in the brief few moments she had been climbing. Mothpaw's young heart and breathing picked up subtly as she detached her right paw from the bark and took a step onto the branch to meet Shadowpaw. She was on the same branch as him for all of a few moments before she lost her balance. One misplaced paw sent her entire body hanging off of the edge of the branch, barely holding on with a bleeding left paw. "Not helping your princess climb is treason!" she meowed, choosing to joke as she hung there to drive off the throbbing pain born in her paw and heading up her forelimb. The apprentice was not sure how long she could keep hold of the branch.

Or if her knight in shining armor would choose to lend her a hand.

word count: 711
muse: high.
comments: :>

[` `shadsywadsy.]

Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you
But I can't bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels
Then say the last goodbye

The tom watched in horror as the she-cat lost her footing on the branch. She got it with her front paws thank goodness, but she was dangling in the air a good ways above the ground. He smiled at her joke, grateful she wasn't too upset. Then allow me to help you, my sweet. He dug his claws into the branch, securing himself as he leaned over to grab her scruff. He latched onto her skin and fur and began to pull her up. His massive size, even for an older apprentice than his age, allowed him to pull her most of the way back onto the branch. He laid her back down when she could be draped across the branch and all the weight be put on her stomach. From that position, any cat could get up. Unless they were extremely fat. Which she was not, thank god.

Shadowpaw let out a sigh of relief when he knew for a fact she was out of danger. Allow me to secure you, princess, so you don't fall again. It was more a statement than a question, but he figured asking would be more polite. Not that he cared, of course. He just wanted to give her what she deserved. He helped her sit down on the branch, which was wobbling with all the things that had been going on. He probably could've picked a more stable one, but hey. They were here now, right. As he set her down in front of him, he placed his front paws just before hers, allowing his body to protect her from falling. Unless she fell forwards. Or he fell. Let's hope none of those happen. Is that better Mothpaw? He whispered in her ear, being close enough to do so.

He was not unaware that he just might be going insane. What the hell was he doing up in this tree anyway? What the hell was he doing in this tree with a female nonetheless? He sneered in his mind, but he kept an unexpressive look on his actual face. He knew this she-cat was Mothpaw, a just turned apprentice, but in all honesty he didn't really know her. And yet here he was, as close as any cat could possibly be, their fur mixing together, with a she-cat he barely knew. The thought almost repulsed him, but then he remembered how they had gotten up this tree. He had climbed with her because she had caught him talking to his nonexistent father that only he could hear. Oh yeah. That's right. He was trying to distract her, anything to keep her from remembering him as that "weird tom who called me dad". He did, after all, want to be leader one day. That would haunt him for the rest of his life, and he already had his father doing that.

God he needed a vacation. Something to distract him, something to take his mind of everything.

S H A D O W P A W

[tails//]

Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor, lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance

m o t h p a w

Mothpaw let out an audible sigh of relief as the strange apprentice calmly reach down and rescue her from the throes of danger. She admired his strength as he pulled, willing her lithe body up and over the branch so she lay somewhat uncomfortably horizontally across the skinny, splintery tree limb. Despite being ill at ease and at a precarious position, the apprentice could hardly find a complaint in her position. She was alive, and for the most part out of harm's way. Being uncomfortable was much better than being dead.

"Allow me to secure you, princess, so you don't fall again."

Despite being slightly shaken up by the fall, Mothpaw managed to let out a carefully place giggle to let him know that he was welcome to continue on with their little roleplay. Mothpaw was perhaps the most still she had ever been in her life as she let Shadowpaw curl around her, pull her up onto the branch, and move so that he was just inches away from her pretty calico face. Rather than flitting about like usual, his calm demeanor kept her energetic self at bay.

Is that better Mothpaw?

The tomcat asked after he felt satisfied with his and her position on the tree limb. To ask his question, he whispered in her ear. Coming up that close to her was hardly necessary, as the two apprentices where already close enough that she swore she could feel his warm breath against her pelt. As he whispered against her, she gave another giggle, and wrinkled her nose, feeling suddenly uncomfortable with their closeness but at the same time, excited by it. She had never been this close to another tomcat other than her father. Despite Shadowpaw's oddities, he felt like one big adventure to her. An adventure, she was willing to admit, she intended to stick with.

"I feel awfully like a prisoner," Mothpaw mewed with a fiendish grin, before turning to survey her surroundings. "Despite how unsteady this branch is, my kingdom sure is beautiful," the calico added, retrospectively skimming her blue gaze over all of ShadowClan territory. Is this what being a leader is like? she wondered as she looked onwards.

word count: 404
muse: eh
comments: --

[` `shadsywadsy.]

The colors conflicted
As the flames, climbed into the clouds
Caught in the burning glow
And fan the flames
As your blazes burn

I feel awful like a prisoner. Despite how unsteady this branch is, my kingdom sure is beautiful.

Though the she-cat couldn't see his look, it was a confused look. She felt like a prisoner? Why? Then he realized that he was holding her body between his, their fur intertwining and mixing together as their breaths mingled. He realized how close he was to her, and how she must feel uncomfortable. Despite the comment made about her kingdom being beautiful, he couldn't stand the thought that she would feel like that. He wanted to make her feel safe, not uncomfortable. He was reaching the opposite of his goal, and that had to change. It had to change. It must change.

He sprung away from her abruptly. He couldn't stand the thought of himself making her a prisoner, and so he let her go. The branch wobbled with his sudden movement, and the look in his eyes must have been similar to wild man's frightened stare. He jumped down from the branch, landing on a more sturdy one below, and instantly felt bad. He shouldn't have done that. That was not what a gentlemen would do. Then again, who was he to be gentleman? He didn't care. Why would he care? He didn't, that's why. His thoughts, they were so confused, so tangled, he couldn't get them straight. He stopped breathing, trying to figure what he wanted to do. He could either apologize, and go back and talk to her, or he could continue down the tree to the ground and continue about his day of apathy. He let out his breath as he decided what to do.

He jumped down, branch by branch until he reached the ground. It was nice to be on steady ground for once, but he knew the uneasiness in his stomach wasn't because of the height he had just moments ago been at. It was because of the she-cat he left up there, wondering why he had so suddenly jumped away and why he so suddenly decided that their game was no longer fun. Lightheart would not approve of this, and he couldn't say he agreed. Being with her had been fun, and fun was not something the tom was used to. He was used to training and being emotionless. He didn't know how to take this she-cat, who seemed so care-free and energetic. That was the real reason he jumped down. He was scared. Scared that she might teach him how to care. That she might soften his stone heart into malleable steal. And he didn't want that. He wanted to stay emotionless and cold forever. And he knew she would not allow him to stay like that, no matter how hard he tried to.

And so it was just better if he stayed away from her.

But his paws wouldn't allow him to move from the sandy ground the tree had rooted into. They wouldn't allow him to walk away. He felt bad for what he was doing to, and she followed him down the tree, and he at least owed her an explanation if she asked for one. So he would give her a few moments to follow him down. And if she didn't, she didn't, and that would be the end of it. He wouldn't care anymore. But for this brief and precious moment, he allowed himself to care.

S H A D O W P A W