Invisible [Tails]

[sammonroll]

A grey sky cast its dim light over the grey land, masking the grey apprentice that sat alone, away from the bustle of clan business. It was his habit, to leave camp and laze around a little while. Other cats seemed to think he was off doing duties, since they never knew where he was going or saw him around much. He always made sure to bring back a couple of fish. That was no trouble. Maybe he'd never become a warrior. But that future didn't make his eyelids any less sleepy or the soft riverside grass any less comfy. The tom snuggled right up against the river, his tail dipping into the gentle waters.

It was getting warmer lately, and if he was Frozenpaw, he could just melt into the ground. A smile crept across his lips, but then twitched. His paw itched. He looked at it. Poor thing, mangled and twisted and just all around not attractive. It was always the right paw too. Why was it always itchy? He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself. Just leave it alone for once, Frozenpaw... he tried to convince himself. He breathed in sharply, as if it took a lot of effort. His eyes closed and he buried his face in the ground. But no one ever finds me here, he thought, this time convincing him the other way around. He lifted his face and looked up sheepishly. There was no one there. He glanced around a second time to make sure, then lowered his jaw onto his right paw.

[tails//]

I DON'T CARE, I LOVE IT.

Small jet black paws curved and molded the earth as she moved like a shadow. The young warrioress was less than thrilled about the day's events thus far and the brooding gray sky captured her mood perfectly. The moment Birdglory's eyes had opened, she had set off in seeking out her odd lump of an apprentice, Frozenpaw. While most cats her age would be excited to earn an apprentice (such an honor was often only applied to cats her senior,) Birdglory was not. Her few encounters with Frozenpaw had all ended with her feelings quite uncomfortable. Frozenpaw was so different from herself. When she was comfortable with expressing herself, she felt he wasn't. When she asked him to do minor tasks, she always felt his misgivings.

As her soft pelt blew with the moving trees, the RiverClanner knew that today would be no different. The more time she spent with him, the more her faith dwindled. Birdglory had hardly been surprised when she hadn't been able to find him in camp. In her mind, Birdglory knew that her apprentice was hiding from her. Even though the obsidian she-cat hadn't mentioned to her apprentice the prospects of training today, she figured he would see it coming. They hadn't been out training for a few days now and it was long overdue.

By the time Birdglory spotted Frozenpaw's gray tabby features, her paws were slightly sore from padding on dry ground for the day. Here was certainly not the first place she had looked and she had begun to wonder if she had missed her apprentice entirely and he had headed back to camp. Despite having searched for him for a good part of the day, the black she-cat, upon inspecting the apprentice, wasn't so relieved.

Having still not made herself known, Birdglory watched her apprentice lower his head to gnaw at his jaw. Though in her short interactions with her apprentice Birdglory had never seen the tom intentionally harm himself, she had known about it from outside sources. Several of her warrior friends spoke of it with varying levels of opinions. Some worried for the tom's health, some thought he was just completely strange. Birdglory, being one to readily form opinions on her own, only kept the words of others as reference.

After a few passing seconds, the black she-cat padded from her spot behind the bushes to expose herself to her apprentice. "I've been looking for you. We need to train today," she meowed, choosing to ignore Frozenpaw's self injury. She felt that if she let it be known that she had seen what he had done, their relationship would become more strained. In any case, Birdglory felt her job was solely to teach the apprentice how to hunt and fight. She could do nothing about what he did in his free time.

[sammonroll]

The short time he had alone gave him just enough to scratch his right paw. Hardly any blood trickled, and the silver tom could have been left with just a disappointing taste of the flashy color. Fortunately for his twisted side, yet unfortunately for both his appearance and reputation, the sudden voice creeping up on the young tom frightened him into flashing his claws out. Did I hear "train"?

Frozenpaw sat up properly, smoothly removing his paw from his teeth as he did so, and saw his mentor, looking less than enthused. Normally, Birdglory's apprentice would have looked similarly disenchanted. He had no qualms with the warrioress herself, but the fact that she was appointed as his mentor gave her presence an ill meaning. Strangely though, Frozenpaw looked a little giddier than usual, but in a way that might have chilled any normal cat. The frightened burst of claws while his paw was still in his mouth snagged, and left more color than he had expected. He almost spat it out, but that would have looked awfully strange.

His tongue hurt, having gouged a hole in it, but it felt kind of...warm, in a nice, comforting sort of way. He huffed his amusement quietly and smirked. He had never shown any semblance of an emotion other than boredom or annoyance to his mentor, but he couldn't help grinning a little this time.

"It's you," he meowed, in his characteristic smartass attitude, showing more red on his tongue than was usually there. His tail curled around his paws, the right of which hadn't actually suffered much more asides from a hardly noticeable scratch and being a little damp.

"What do you need me for?" he asked, having not paid any attention to her earlier, and making certain to stress "need" as if he had been bothered all too much lately and only something of dire importance would be fit enough to distract him again.

[tails//]

I DON'T CARE, I LOVE IT.

The black she-cat wrinkled her nose in disgust as she scented the acidic twinge of blood wafting in the air. Does he have no sense of self-worth? Is it for attention? And most importantly, will it affect our training? Birdglory asked herself as she averted her eyes from the apprentice as he removed his paw from his mouth.

When she glanced back up at him cautiously, Frozenpaw seemed quite pleased with himself -- despite his claws being unsheathed and his paw still leaking some blood. Had Birdglory not set off on a training mission, she would have not forced herself to look at him. Something about the way his olive eyes shown gave her the creeps and forced her ears back flat against her skull. With the way Frozenpaw was grinning, a part of her wondered if he was psychotic.

"It's you,"

The apprentice's sudden sharp tone forced his mentor's ears to perk up fully and the fur on her back to fluff up slightly. He says that as if there is something wrong with me being here. He is my apprentice and even if he weren't, I have a right as a full warrior of RiverClan to go wherever I please in my home. Who does he think he is? The obsidian she-cat thought to herself, practically fuming in her usual way. Hearing Frozenpaw speak calmed her down a bit, mostly because speaking was something that she was quite good at. Birdglory could easily turn a phrase to stab someone in the back and had no doubt in her mind that she could use words to force Frozenpaw into submission.

"What do you need me for?"

The young RiverClan she-cat snorted out loud, finding some difficulty in keeping herself from making her words a snarl. This cat was so impudent -- he should be thanking her for her arrival, not treating her with this level of disrespect. "Me? Need you? You need me. That is, if you even want a chance at passing your warrior test," Birdglory threatened and then rolled her eyes to let him know just how little his words had mattered to her. If Frozenpaw refused training for the day, she certainly wouldn't stop him. She felt that she had no reason to train him other than the fact that she had been assigned to him as his mentor. It wasn't as if she'd get in trouble for not training Frozenpaw. He was, after all, the problem.

[sammonroll]

Frozenpaw smirked at the snort of disbelief at his words. Sure, he usually spoke like this, but he'd generally feel guilty for it later. This time, his enjoyment of certain tingling sensations were making him arrogant, and the sound of her displeasure was merely amusing.

However, at the sound of his mentor's snapping tongue, the apprentice frowned a bit. Ordinarily, he'd be even more upset, falling once again into his routine of feeling utter uselessness. But the warm aftereffect was still cozy around in his mouth and he couldn't let his dark thoughts get him too far.

Nevertheless, the words, "warrior test" made the silver tom grumble. He sighed, "Alright, alright. What am I learning?" Although Frozenpaw lacked enthusiasm, determination, work ethic, or any kind of caring, he had some hopes of becoming a warrior some day. And, just as any other apprentice, he was at least a little excited at the thought of having some new technique to use. He just...wasn't particularly good at showing it.

His tongue was beginning to stop bleeding, but everything was still a little hazy. The proximity of the wound to his head made everything appear a little brighter than usual, even on this dreary wretch of a day. Even Birdglory looks a little prettier today, he joked to himself. He snorted before taking a deep stretch, front paws stretched far out in front and tail high in the air. His limbs would make for a rather tall cat, if he would stop slouching.

He yawned and shook himself, readying himself for the activities he half succeeded in avoiding. His paws kneaded the ground and he gave his mentor a look. It was the same bored sort of look as always, but there was a glint in his eye that showed the reluctant cat was as ready as he possibly could be.

[tails//]

I DON'T CARE, I LOVE IT.

Birdglory couldn't help the frown that dawned on her face as she watched her silver apprentice mull over her words. Everything about Frozenpaw rubbed her fur the wrong way: the way he hurt himself for pleasure, his attitude, his general lack of a spine. The way Frozenpaw took moments to mull over her threat irked her most of all: it was as if he was actually considering rejecting clan life for life forever as an apprentice. Birdglory's lips curled over in discontent and her feathered tail lashed out once. Part of Birdglory's irritation with Frozenpaw lay in just how similar the apprentice was from herself. Apart from the pain-loving, Frozenpaw had the same sort of dislike for clan life and authority as she did. If Frozenpaw wasn't in the way of a duty-free day for her, she might sympathize with him. Instead, her bright blue eyes were harsh, even as her apprentice reluctantly agreed to train.

"Alright, alright. What am I learning?"

The ashen she-cat could hardly believe her ears. Birdglory had tried to make a point that she was doing Frozenpaw a service in training him for his warrior assessment, not her clan duty. The way he spoke made her think that he still didn't get or respect her gesture. The young warrior shook her head, trying to expel anger boiling inside her head. "I'd suggest we do battle training, but knowing you, you'd probably like it," the obsidian she-cat meowed through bared teeth, her disgust with the apprentice dripping off her tongue like hot acid.

The RiverClanner turned around sharply to eye her surrounding domain. Grasses sprung up, green with life, and bushes bared thick, concealing life in their depths. "Catch me something. I don't care how," the warrioress mewed, turning back to face her apprentice. Discontent, along with her own sloth, was all her face spoke of.

[sammonroll]

Along with the pleasure was the sharp taste of blood. It tasted rough in his mouth and it reminded the young apprentice of the criminality of his strange habit. It was bad. Everything about it was wrong. It mutilated his body and took time to heal. It freaked everyone out.

As his high wore off, Frozenpaw's spirit had sunken lower than it was to start with. Urrrgh, I really have to stop. His thoughts almost kept him lost from Birdglory's words, but he caught them. He caught just enough to sink him a little further. "..battle training...you'd probably like it." As soon as their meaning registered in his head, his eyes widened and snapped to her, his fur bristling off his skin. Fortunately, he caught his tongue. Frozenpaw hadn't spent as much time with his mentor as the other apprentices did with theirs, but he knew her well enough to know that hasty words would only bite him in the rear later. He breathed and let his pelt smooth back down. I have to be more careful... Thankfully, the bleeding was nearly stopped in his mouth and every lessening gulp of blood was like hiding more and more of the guilt away.

However, this ruthless teacher wasn't done with her casually tossed words. Frozenpaw's mouth twitched at her order, "Catch me something. I don't care how." He grumbled a bit, but still made sure to keep his thoughts to himself. What happened to teaching me?

He sighed, accepting his duty, albeit reluctantly, and stood up. In his usual slouching posture, he padded further away from the black warrioress and sat himself near the edge of the river. Over the length of the day, the river had gotten warmer and glittered, even in this cloudy weather. Frozenpaw could make out a blurred reflection of himself, warped and twisted. That's what you'll look like if you keep your stupid biting up. He huffed and brought his concentration to what was in the water rather than what was on it.

Large, jade-green eyes scanned the water for signs of significant movement. A small fish caught his eye. It could feed a young apprentice, and Birdglory didn't specify how impressive she wanted the catch to be. Although, knowing her, she probably expected something worth showing. Regardless, Frozenpaw didn't care enough for himself to save him from the impending scolding for the tiny catch.

Carefully, he reared his left paw, unmarred and smooth - a stark contrast to his right paw. Lately, he was in the habit of not using his right paw; it was starting to become less sensitive to touch.

The grey tom stayed perfectly still for a moment, and in a flash, jabbed his paw into the water. He brought it back up in a smooth motion, causing a neat little water show... but no catch. Another, caught his eye immediately. It was large enough not to worry too much about the tiny splash his paw made, and stayed comfortably where it was. Frozenpaw hissed towards his mentor behind him, "Shhhhhhh!!" He wasn't, was never, in the mood to hear her rag on him for messing up again. His remained focus on the water let her know that he was still going to try. The fish was in the middle of the river, just a tails length away from the edge, but a tails length too far. His muscles tensed, and in a sudden movement, he had disappeared from the edge.

The skinny apprentice slipped right into the water, his long frame twisting just as a fish would do naturally. In half a moment, his head pushed up from the surface with an impressive splash and he slunk back onto shore, his long whiskers hanging down from the wetness, and a shiny tail hanging down from his mouth.

Thoroughly drenched, he took a couple steps toward Birdglory and dropped his ungracefully caught fish. Still, it was a decent size, enough to share, and after all, "You said you didn't care how I did it...

[tails//]

I DON'T CARE, I LOVE IT.

The more time the warrioress spent with her masochistic apprentice, the more her lip curled in disgust. As Birdglory watched her apprentice's figure recede, she could not help but wonder what was running through Hailstorm's mind when she chose Birdglory to train Frozenpaw. Though Birdglory's critical attitude she held for everyone made her an impossible and poor mentor, pairing her with Frozenpaw was a particularly cruel act. All the obsidian she-cat could figure was that her new apprentice was punishment from her disobedience in the past. I'll be sure to give Hailstorm an earful about this. No one wants ... an apprentice like this, she thought to herself, eying her apprentice's mangled paw from her distance.

Seeing her apprentice reach the water's edge, Birdglory padded to get a better look at her apprentice's technique despite the negativity swimming in her head. As she watched his left paw ready itself for jabbing at what she presumed was a fish, Birdglory's criticism faltered long enough to inspect his technique. Not only is his self injury hurting him, but it is also making him a poorer hunter. He is clearly dominant on his right paw rather than his left. If he was smart, he'd at least bite his left paw instead of his right, she thought to herself, her acidity returning at the edge of her thought, but her assessment genuine in that she was forming helpful suggestions on the tom's technique.

When Frozenpaw finally made his move and came back empty pawed, Birdglory felt no need to hide a roll of her eyes since his back was turned. The tom's paw hadn't moved fast enough and even if the fish hadn't evaded his attack, she wasn't entirely sure if his attack would've killed it in the first place.

With a sigh, Birdglory approached her apprentice, negativity looming over her small body like a cloud. Birdglory was so busy with her own thoughts that when her apprentice spun around and hissed at her, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

With her fur now slightly puffed up, the black she-cat couldn't help feeling entirely too bothered by the whole ordeal. The black she-cat hardly paid attention to Frozenpaw's technique now, having seen Frozenpaw's hunting flaws already more than she would like. When a splash stole Birdglory's attention, she found that her apprentice had all but disappeared.

Rushing to the water's edge, her heart beating a little faster than it should for a cat she did not care for, Birdglory began to search for her apprentice. Spying him within seconds carrying a large fish, Birdglory's mood quickly went from anxious to irate. Frozenpaw's smart comment as he approached her with the fish only heated her temper to a boil.

"You said you didn't care how I did it..."

Birdglory hardly got a chance to eye his catch before her voice broke forth. "I wasn't expecting you to hunt like that. I told you to do that so I could get a look at your natural tendencies and how they affected your hunting performance, not so you could show off what an idiot you are," she meowed, looking him dead-on in the eyes, not caring if her icy gaze or her hot words hurt him. Even after speaking at length, the black she-cat still felt somewhat at a loss for words -- incapable to respond to someone who had twisted and pulled her patience in every way possible.

Only after looking down to his catch did she find her voice. "This fish that you caught ... this is a pike," she meowed with disbelief, before pawing at its jaws to reveal rows of sharp teeth. "You are lucky to have killed it, rather than it killing you," Birdglory meowed flatly, her blue gaze hardly moving from the fearsome predatory fish. "You knew generally what the approved RiverClan hunting technique is. We hunt like this for a reason. Do you understand?" she meowed, curling and uncurling her tail and feeling a strange sense of concern for her apprentice's health.

[sammonroll]

With a disapproving look and a tongue as harsh as the winter that Frozenpaw was born in, Birdglory scolded, "I wasn't expecting you to hunt like that." She continued to blab on, but Frozenpaw was rather impressed. He was never a particularly skilled hunter, but this one catch was superb. It was far past him. What power had he in his own paws? Nothing. What patience did he have? None. Suddenly, he was much less impressed. Lucky catch. Try doing that again, crowfood. 

"This fish that you caught ... this is a pike," the black she-cat gasped, making Frozenpaw's own eyes widen. He paid attention to that little name, and took a glance towards its head, armed with rows of sharp teeth. Birdglory pawed the fish's mouth to emphasize its danger, making Frozenpaw shudder underneath his fur. Certainly, pain did not exactly bother Frozenpaw but knowing that he could have been sliced in half by a fish wasn't exactly delightful either. But still... look at how big it is...  A shimmer of pride was rising up in him, one which he battled internally. No, he wasn't allowed to feel pride. Hah, pride? It's just one fish. No one will care tomorrow. In fact, who will care today?

Birdglory had asked him a question and was staring him down. Frozenpaw wasn't entirely sure what sort of answer she was expecting from her scrawny apprentice, but he could guess from that exasperated look on her face. "I know, I know," he grumbled, as if he had been paying attention the whole time. "But still..." A grin crept up on his narrow face. "Pretty impressive, eh?"

Bite your tongue! Bite your mousebrained tongue!! The silver tom's mind was screeching at him. Frozenpaw had a certain...way with words. A way that tended to make other cats think he was the most arrogant, lazy, uncaring cat that ever walked the forest. In actuality, Frozenpaw was very insecure. He knew his limitations, and chose to let them dominate him. His words were one of his limitations, and he hated when he talked, abhorred the sound of his useless voice. It spoke out of discomfort, and it came out all wrong.

The whole thing was made even worse with this snappy mentor assigned to him, bent on taking every stupid word he spoke and making it worse than it had to be. To be honest, he was quite unnerved by Birdglory. There were most likely other cats that would bother him like this, but they weren't his mentor. Because of that, they didn't care quite as much, and left the lecturing to this icy-gazed warrior.

Frozenpaw's heart beat faster than usual in his skinny chest and he shrunk back a little, preparing himself for his mentor's verbal onslaught.

[tails//]

I DON'T CARE, I LOVE IT.

One thing Birdglory knew about her mouse-brained apprentice was that she could read him like a book. Even as she scolded him for his recklessness, she could see that he was numb to her well-intentioned criticism and far too focused on the size of his catch. I could've called him any name in the book, and he probably wouldn't have cared one whisker's worth, the black warrioress thought to herself, feeling more and more like her irritated, critical self after her brief moment of concern for her pain-loving apprentice.

"I know, I know,"

The she-cat let out a loud sigh and swished her tail energetically after hearing his uninterested reply, not feeling the need to lighten up on Frozenpaw or show extra concern for his feelings. He decided to ignore me, now he's going to pay for it, she thought to herself, eying the tomcat angrily. Despite her irritation with Frozenpaw, she could not help going back to her first interaction with him that day. At least we've moved on and I've gotten to make some kind of progress with him, Birdglory thought to herself, feeling a little relieved of her anger the more her mind drifted off. All in all, the day certainly could've gone a lot worse.

"But still ... Pretty impressive, eh?"

Birdglory being even slightly content with her and Frozenpaw's progress was quickly a thing of the past as the apprentice thoughtfully spoke. No barriers held Birdglory back as her sharpened blue gaze pierced Frozenpaw's skin. "The only thing I'm impressed with is what a mousebrain you are. Did you even hear a word I was saying?" the coal colored she-cat asked in a blunt, hurried tone, before returning back to the results of Frozenpaw's sloppy technique. "The pike certainly isn't the tastiest fish in the water, but it can provide enough for a few warriors to share it," the she-cat meowed, eying it. The only reason Birdglory praised the apprentice was because the truth dictated the need for praise, not because she found what he had done in the least bit "impressive" by his definition. "I'd have you go back out to catch something else, but I don't think even the most clueless fish would be out here after all that splashing."

[sammonroll]

Frozenpaw was blessed with unfortunately dull green eyes that refused to betray his expression, even when it was for the better. These eyes stared blankly back at the black cat hissing at him, as if there could be nothing more uninteresting. But these closed windows hid a quickened heartbeat and racing mind, trying desperately to find himself innocent in this situation. Sure, his words came out all kinds of wrong, but he couldn't help his slippery tongue. It was probably from lack of socialization that Frozenpaw didn't know how to act properly.

Birdglory yapped at him, and Frozenpaw noticed her maw working its daggers into his skin, but he didn't hear the words. He was too concentrated on her exasperated appearance.

There was a pause in her speech, and the tom looked up in surprise. A feeling of nervous anticipation pooled up beneath him, until he realized that she was accepting his catch. A feeling of relief washed over him. Maybe I'm not such a mess up...

The calming wave soon drained when he caught her unrelenting temper burn him, and once again, Birdglory's piercing blue eyes were digging into him. "I'd have you go back out to catch something else, but I don't think even the most clueless fish would be out here after all that splashing."

Oh great, I'm going to say something stupid.. His blank eyes remained the same but a bite of his lip betrayed his irritation. He shifted his weight and sized her up as his mentor before blurting, "Maybe if you actually taught me things..."