Over who's head now?(Samma/Blood)

[~Nighthunter~]

Frostedpaw - Would you just look at it...~

The fine minded fellow with frosty blue tinted eyes was doing a bit of a round up this cloudy afternoon. Cloudy being an understatment, but he was in a seemingly cheery mood, so he figured why not make the sky seem less glum. It bothered him to look on the gloomy side of things, after all he was enjoying himself, so why not make the world seem less bleak. In reality a storm was rumbling off in the distance, it wasn't raining yet, but the rumble could be heard every once in a while. Its like the sky disagreed with his depiction of it, and was growling at him, while he contentedly say uncaring and lazily on the ground on his back starring up at it as if it were a sky open and full of pretty stars instead.

It was absurd the whole thing, but he just gazed at the dark clouds without a worry. Frostedpaw knew though, that he should be shivering with unease. It wasn't always wise to disobey your mentors, but sometimes an apprentice did it with or without knowing it. Its not like he hadn't thought about his lesson he was blowing off, but he was just so perplexed by the way the clouds were moving and how the heat of the day had vanished to be replaced with the icy cool feeling the rolling puffs of moisture were bringing in. He wondered why would such an event bring with it thunder? Very fitting the more he thought about it, because he was pretty sure his mentor was rolling in anger shakily by now just like the rumbling thunder.

Lots of other apprentices would be astute and normally very up to par with his mentor, he was being trained by none other then the leader Hailstorm after all. She was a very strong and though tempermental, was knowledable and he was thrilled to have her, but today he was just not into it. Nope today was a lay on the ground and ponder day, just a day to exercise his mind, that was the basis of his mentality in why he was on his back at the moment. It made sense to him, the grass was comfortable, and he had chosen a nice mossy area, very bouncy and comfortable. Frostedpaw had told the other apprentices that he was told to train today but he was going to head off alone for a while instead, they all said he was feather brained, he preferred to think of it as free spirited. What would  little learning experience hurt after all, that was how he was justifying it in his mind.

Surely Hailstorm would understand, he was enriching his mind, it wasn't him meandering aimlessly around the territory or getting into mischief of some sort. Nope he was simply making use of his time for a day of restful exploration. It was well deserved in his mind, as his muscles were killing him from the training lately. It seemed to him that his hard to impress mentor had something bothering her. The way she had pounded on him had given him the impression that it was a lot of something's, his body was bruised in more places then he cared to try and count. It would ruin his mood to flinch in thought of that, particularly because the dull ache of them would then become apparent again and he was content to ignore it. Only whiners or wussies went to the medicine cat without need, and since his limbs were still attached he was not going to entertain that thought, a day of rest was much simpler.  A glimmer of amused joy crept into the twinkling of his baby blue eyes, it was such an intriguing sky after all, what warrior in there right mind would want to miss out on its splendor.

He belatedly had remembered his leader talking about them bringing another apprentice into the training session today. It was his almost named doppelganger, Frozenpaw that was supposed to join them. That was humorous to him, it was interesting that so many wintery souls were to gather for training. He found the comedy in it, and wondered if there parents had decided to give them winter based names after the leaders own name, or had they just assumed that Riverclan would sound tougher with all the frosty cats in it? He certainty wasn't planning on acting very frosted today, and he wondered how his partner in the crime of the lesson would handle her fierceness without him. The poor tom he mused would probably get snarled at before she started to search for him instead, the real culprit, oh now what a thought that was. It was enough of one to make him stir slightly while on his back. Ow,,, shouldn't have moved. Oh look at that cloud.

[sammonroll]

For once in his lazy life, Frozenpaw was moving with intent. Somehow, he ended up getting stuck with the mentor-apprentice pair of Hailstorm and Frostedpaw. It struck him as odd that they were to make a trio of wintry cats, but it struck him as more odd that he was training with their leader today, rather than Birdglory. Birdglory was a cat he could, at least half of the time, sneak away from, her dislike of him perhaps being even greater than his dislike of her. The mutual dislike worked out for him, being able to shirk his duties and get his cat's share of napping. Sneaking out of training with Hailstorm, though, was risky, what with their leader having a temper that greatly rivaled Birdglory's sharp wit. Besides, Frozenpaw's disrespect reached great lengths, but he was no tom to ignore the highest ranking member of RiverClan.

That being said, when he was told about his training session with the icy pair, he had gotten the gist of what was being said, but as for the details, he had no clue. Frozenpaw's tendency to zone out was working against him, so now he had to look for this apprentice and figure out where they were training. It took further work to find Frostedpaw himself, but a couple other apprentices seemed to know where he had headed. They had all looked shocked and a little disturbed that the solitary tom was speaking to them, but Frozenpaw got what he needed in the end.

He scoffed at the idea of Frostedpaw skipping out on training. So it wasn't just Frozenpaw who was lazy after all. If I were the leader's apprentice, I would... he started, thinking of himself standing strong next to the leader. Right then, the image was shattered as a dark voice within him cackled, No, you wouldn't. Frozenpaw's mood was brought down a notch again, and he looked for someone to blame. I bet it's Birdglory's fault. She probably complained about her dumb apprentice and decided Hailstorm should kick me into gear. As if that'll work. The apprentice rolled his dull green eyes at the thought of his abrasive mentor. Maybe it's her fault I'm a dumb apprentice... he thought, the bitterness of the idea making itself palpable on his tongue.

Finally, his moody thoughts brought his pawsteps far enough to reach Frostedpaw. The skinny tom noticed his fellow apprentice a few tail-lengths away, looking up at the stormy sky. Frozenpaw was about to approach, but the depth of Frostedpaw's gaze attracted his attention, and turned his own gaze up at the clouds. They certainly were rumbling away, and the way they rolled right up into one another was hypnotizing. His duty nagged at him softly, but Frozenpaw's sense of short term versus long term reward was skewed, and a moment's rest towards the sky seemed to outbalance an angry Hailstorm.

Stop trying. You'll never be a warrior, anyway.

[|{/Bloodrose\}|]

To say that she was mad... Angry even... It would be the understatement of the millennia. With each jarring, nearly painful step the gray she-cat took, one thing was perfectly clear. From the way her lips were peeled back from her sharp teeth... The way her shoulder blades protruded as she stalked forward, head lowered dangerously.. From the way her eyes blazed and her tail lashed... It would be blindingly clear, as obvious as a blow to the muzzle, even to the tiniest of kits holed up in the RiverClan nursery. She. Was. Seething. Back track. What could possibly have caught the dark gray she-cat to be in such a mood? It couldn't have just been the weather. The clouds were roiling up above, and every now and then, the far away, threatening rumble of thunder could be heard. As RiverClan's leader, the she-cat wasn't one to let a day of bad weather put her in such a dark mood. No, the gloomy sky was not the cause of her flared temper, though it was certainly an unwelcome exacerbation. Lazy! All of them! Her thoughts snarled. Nothing but a bunch of ungrateful, selfish, asinine imbeciles! The origin of it all, the root of her sardonic thoughts, lay in the paws of a pair of apprentices. She'd planned a training session with her own apprentice, Frostedpaw, and another apprentice, Birdglory's apprentice Frozenpaw, keen to inspect how the training of RiverClan's apprentices was going. She and Frostedpaw and trained together quite constantly over the past few days, the RiverClan leader fixated upon ensuring RiverClan's strength. She wanted to give Frostedpaw a chance to fight someone of a more similar age and skill level. To her, it had been the perfect plan, a wonderful opportunity for every cat involved. A chance to grow, to learn. She'd been startled awake by another nightmare, though it had been slightly less severe than usual. She had felt fractionally more rested than most mornings, which was a change that left her bemused and distraught. After the initial shock of her realization, Hailstorm had decided to embrace it and offer then two apprentices as much time and advise as they wanted. Other than the wakeup, her morning had gone as per usual. She'd waved the dawn patrol off (she was always awake before their departure), she'd gone out to hunt, returning with something for herself, as well as two pieces for the Clan, and she'd put together the patrols needed for the morning, once the Clan had begun to arise. As sunhigh began approaching, she had told her deputy, Tigerfrost, that he was in charge of the Clan and its activities until her return. With that, the RiverClan leader had set off to the meeting location for the training session. She'd waited by the river as the sun rose to its peak. Her pale green gaze surveyed the river's banks, alert to any sign of movement that might appear. She was looking for a sign of the arrival of the apprentices. Briefly, she wondered who would arrive first, or if they would choose to travel together. The thought didn't dwell long, the leader's mind constantly plagued with worries. Worries for her Clan. Worries for her health. Worries of her inadequacy. At some point, the leader had grown restless, bored even. Her sharp gaze focused on the rushing water of the river under-paw, her body stilling as, instinctively, she became a hunter. After landing and successfully killing two fish, the leader's white muzzle tipped up towards the sky, attempting to assess just how late the two apprentices were. Disapproval flashed over her features as she noted the sun's position. Sunhigh had long since passed. Where are they.. Her initial reaction had been one of baffled rage. Late? For a training session? It was simply unacceptable. With a snort, the RiverClan figure head had gathered her catches, heading back to camp at an accelerated pace. She kept herself alert, thinking that, perhaps she would meet them part way. She would have some stern words to share with them, this was no question. It wasn't until she arrived back at camp with no sign of either apprentice that Hailstorm began to worry. Her eyes darkened slightly, the concern she felt reflected in her usually impassive gaze. Had something happened to them? Had that fox come back? Unable to dwell on such a horrific thought, the leader was quick to deposit her prey on the fresh-kill pile before making a bee-line for the apprentices den, intending to interrogate one of them as to the whereabouts of Frostedpaw and Frozenpaw. It was here that her temper reared its ugly head. She'd asked, rather uneasily, if anyone had seen Frostedpaw or Frozenpaw. One of the apprentices had piped up, confused by the lack of the usual iciness of their leader, stating that both those apprentices had been spotted heading off to one of the clearings. A clearing in the completely opposite direction of their intended meeting spot. The involuntary hiss that escaped her lips and the sudden blaze in her eyes left the poor apprentices cowering in the back of the den, as she snapped at them, telling them all that they should be doing something useful for the Clan. Not that she was aware of it, but the moment she stalked out of the camp, the apprentices' den emptied in record time, and would remain empty for a large portion of the day. And so, here she was, her ragged, infuriated breaths pulling in the scents of both apprentices as she followed their trail. Vaguely, somewhere in the back of her mind, she noted that Frostedpaw's scent seemed more stale than Frozenpaw's, as though her apprentice had travelled this direction first. She would not dwell on this fact, however, her psyche far too tangled in the fit of rage that had seized her. It burned through her veins, nearly palpable as she shouldered her way through anything that attempted to block the RiverClan leader's path. With one final thrust, the gray she-cat entered the clearing, the undergrowth shivering due to her rather violent exit. Furious, pale eyes locked onto the forms of the apprentices, her anger only fuelled further by the fact they were both staring at the sky. Unable to fathom attempting to speak in her usual, icily calm voice, Hailstorm's throat stung from the sheer force behind her snapping screech. "And what do you two think you're doing?!" There was no hesitation, no chance for either one to speak. She'd begun to pace, circling them threateningly, her body still low, her face still contorted with her unbridled rage. "Skipping, are we? On a training session with the leader? Are you both completely daft?" Her voice had lowered, no longer a screech, but a deadly hiss. Her eyes never left them as she circled, her ears pinned against her head, her tail caught in a deadly dance behind her, an adder preparing its strike. Suddenly, her path shifted and she approached Frostedpaw, one painfully slow step at a time. She looked like a hunter stalking prey, not a mentor speaking to an apprentice. "I expected better of you, Frostedpaw. You've been doing so well, excelling in your training. You've attended the training sessions I have offered the past few days, and with each one, I've seen improvement. You've shown me promise. You've made me proud. I had high hopes for you. And then what? I find you lounging about, nose upturned, eyes fixated upon the sky. Why? Because its cloudy. Isn't that just fascinating! Much more worthwhile to stare up at the roiling clouds than the train to become a warrior, hm? Have you simply decided that RiverClan is not worthy of you, hm? Am I not good enough? Am I a waste of your time? Perhaps I should assign you countless moons of work in the elder's den. Cancel your ceremony. How could I possibly give you your warrior name, Frostedpaw, if you cannot even give me the decency of showing up. You have the ability to be a great RiverClan warrior. What you lack is any sort of drive. You've wasted time, time that could have been spent helping." For the most part, she did make the effort to rein in her temper around apprentices. They were young, still learning. It wouldn't do much good to speak to them as curtly as she did warriors. It was easily said that the RiverClan leader was more tender, almost.. Motherly when it came to cats of apprentice age and younger. But if there was one thing that could make or break the way she thought of someone, it was respect. Not showing up to a training session with no proper reason as to why was a sign of extreme disrespect in her mind. And she would not tolerate it. "And you." She snarled, her gaze snapping to Frozenpaw. By this point, she was looming over Frostedpaw, having moved right up to his face as she'd spat at him angrily. Now it was Frozenpaw's turn. She stalked towards him, her eyes ablaze as she launched into her next monologue. "You. All I see you do is lie around. When you aren't in camp, you're out lying on the ground somewhere. You never pull your lazy rump off that ground for anyone. You only ever think of yourself, and can't be bothered to think about others. You think you're the only one who's gone through hell? You think you're the only one who's ever lost their brother? When my brother died, I gave myself to my Clan. I vowed to serve RiverClan until my body could take it no longer. Silverkit died before he could serve as a proud RiverClan warrior. You lived. And how have you chosen to spend your life? Do you honour your brother's lost life?" By now the dark gray and white she-cat stood before Frozenpaw. As she continued to snarl at him, she thrust her muzzle forward aggressively, her tail lashing through the air behind her as her anger continued to boil over. "No. You laze around like a slob. You can't be bothered to think about the Clan. What kind of Clan cat are you? You are a disgrace to the RiverClan name. You are a disgrace to your brother's name." I've been believing in something so distant, As if I was human. And I've been denying this feeling Of hopelessness in me, in me. All the promises I made, just to let you down. You believed in me but I'm Broken. I have nothing left. And all I feel is this cruel wanting. We've been falling for all this time. And now, I'm Lost in Paradise.

[~Nighthunter~]

Frostedpaw - Would you just look at it...~

Content to linger there on the ground, his back damp from the moss he lay on while he noticed the conflicting energies above him. The puffy white clouds were mixing with the semi dark grey ones. He felt that it was important to note that they were indeed semi grey and not a completly morbid dark grey. Frostedpaw wondered if there combination would cancel out the storm, because such colors combined often made things lighter not darker. These were simple clouds though, and had a different manner of attending to things. Indeed they did seem to be getting darker.

Dimly he was aware of someone entering the clearing. It seemed to nag him in the back of his concious that he should care whom it was and to what he owed them the pleasure of there presence. Instead he chose to ignore them, if they were important they would say something. Though he was getting curious as to who they were since they remained quiet and yet had decided to stay there staring. He sincerly hoped that it wasn't at him, that was imeasurably odd and would not give him the comfort needed to behaving without being warry around whom ever it was. Still he guessed it was possible to be as perplexed as he was with the sky. It bothered him, but he highly doubted it was his mentor, Hailstorm would have shouted to the heavens and back without waiting that long, and this cat was way to subtle for it to be her. It seemed he would have to simply turn his head and look to see who it was, it was a bother because that would mean upsetting his lax frame and possibly casuing his shoulders to ache again. It was so comfortable where he was laying that it hardly seemed fair to ruin it.

Tilting his head back, his gaze never blinking, he marveled at the shift in the clouds to the tree tops and then onto the form of the other cat. His brilliant blue eyes lingered over the frame, and he sighed slightly in relief when it was clear that he was not about to be mauled for it was only Frozenpaw. Still shifting his gaze back up again, he wondered if thunder was all that far off. After all he had come to find him lounging here, surely Hailstorm would be nearby. Frostedpaw was known for being unenthusiastic but he never purposly was called out on missing a training session. Frozenpaw probably knew his mentor Birdglory would have disapproved almost as much as his own. It also seemed taking in the view of him again, that his eyes were also cast upwards to take in the sights.

Turning back to his own view, he smiled noting that the thunder was rolling in. He had guessed right, and it was going to rain, in fact rather soon by the look of it. The time he had taken to study his training partner had hidden the change in clouds from him, and it was mildly disappointing that he had missed the scale turn in the storm's favor. A crack of thunder raged forth, and then another followed it. No lightening thud far, but he wondered what type it would be. That thought was taken from him, just as he view was when his blistering mad mentor stood above him hissing in fury at him and his "lack of enthusiasm." If he must had admitted it, it was very indulting for her to think such of him, and it deeply hurt him for her to say he had no drive. Hadn't she just admitted while screaming at him that he had been training non-stop these last few days. Its not like a breather was unheard of, and its not like Riverclan was at war or anything. Cancel his ceremony and not give him his name would she, well that was mighty cruel of her. A very unwise misuse of her power as well he thought. Wasn't it the job of there so called warrior ancestors to point out the problems in the clan and then fix it, since he had been spared he couldn't help but think that he had been doing a pretty swell job.

He hated it when she got all huffy and bent out of shape like this, each time it was nearly impossible to try and reason with her until she could calm down. By the looks of things he had managed to get her to a new level of flustered. Frostedpaw could feel her hot breathe against his whiskers she was fumming so much. Well since she was so far gone he wondered if he should try and talk to her at all. Wasn't like she could do worse then take his name away. Then she would have to explain it to the clan, and he was pretty sure he could argue his point that one measly break was not a bad idea. Once he actually confessed to the medicine cat that he was really sore and was in pain then maybe she would see reason. Not that he wanted to go to that den for treatment, it always smelled like goldenrod in there, and it made him sneeze. Not pleasent at all for a medical place of peace or something of that nature, nope he was not using that truth unless he needed to.

Handling her ire was a delicate process, and he sincerly hoped that the other apprentice would keep quiet until she mellowed out. If not then there might be no telling what she would do to them. For the time being he was ignoring her and staring past her to the sky, probably not his best move since she was obvisouly looking for some sort of response for defence from him. It was just hard to respond to, not that his contemplation showed on his face, nope he looked as calm as ever. A drop of rain hit him square on the nose, it slid down its contour taking a measured path down into his eye causing him to finally blink. It was really annoying because that to her might look like he wasn't sleeping with his eyes open like he was beginning to think was a better scapegoat then answering her at all. The blink he felt was his undoing, as he had to say something at that point.

Curling his his toes on his paws gently, he stretched them until a tell tale snap could be heard. Just as he was about to open his mouth she walked off away from him. That caught him by surprise, here he was trying to think of a good way to talk to her curtly, and she had turned her back in him to yell at Frozenpaw. Now he had no idea why the shift in attention from her temper was something to be angry about, but he was annoyed that after waiting for him to speak, she had not given him the chance to, but now seemed to want to pester Frpozenpaw. Frozenpaw was Birdglory's to worry about, and he wondered again why he was supposed to train with him at all. It wasn't like there was a rule saying apperntices had to train together or anything.

She had spit in his face and was stalking away, done with him. Well that was unacceptable in his mind. Why on earth did his pondering have to come to an end just so that she could spit on him and threaten his future. That last he checked was not what mentors were supposed to do. Frozenpaw surely was easy prey for her, hardly the type she would waste her time even yelling at. She had been behaving oddly lately, and he was now definatly sure that something was bothering her. Hailstorm was being mean, not wise and mentorly, she was attacking them viciously. If there was one thing she had drilled into his head was to return to the foe what they gave to you in all forms, and her bitterness was not something he relished trying to retaliate, but as her apprentice it was his duty.

Flipping over, onto his stomach, he rose slowly because his body protested with every inch he gained from the soft mossy floor. Taking the time to stretch again, he sat on his haunches and curled his tail around his paws as they were neatly placed beside one another. He cleared his throat before speaking, not so much to gain attention, but more to actually loosen himself up a bit. " There is nothing wrong with a little wonder at the way things work. Its quite useful to be insightful in that sort of thing. As for working, nope can't say that I am right now. I figured that I could use a break, as you said we have been at it pretty good now for a few days, its not unreasonable. Besides his training it not my concern really, he has been at it londer then me anyway. It wrong to have to guilt him into it after all, he should do it on his own. As for your so called punishment, I don't believe this is deserving of one, as such if you must increase my work load "again" I might add, could you at least not make it seem like im some lay about. I work very hard and its not very polite for you to say such lies about me."

He counted down the seconds to his funeral, he figured she would have something to say about his words. It would be odd to say the least if she were quiet right now. "Might I also say you appear to be in a lousy mood right now, is something bothering you?" Yep he had heared thunder alright, its booming loud an clear now.

[sammonroll]

Frozenpaw was just about to lose himself in the dreamy quality of the storm clouds. Fluttery eyes drooped, kept open only by the occasional rumble from the heavens ahead. This lazy apprentice was prone to sleepiness; he probably got the best rest of any cat in the clan, taking at least a nap daily along with the regular nightly visit from the Sandman. Zoning out and falling to sweet darkness became second nature to Frozenpaw.

His eyes had finally closed, and he told himself he was just resting them. They had to train soon, after all, but a quick rest of the eyes wouldn't do anyone harm...

A shrieking alarm woke him up. Eyelids snapped wide as he saw, in inner horror, the alarm clock in question. He cursed quietly to himself as he realized what he had just done. Stupid stupid stupid. Why'd you just sit there, huh? You could have been fine if you just asked your question and headed your mousebrained butt over to her earlier. He grit his teeth, but the expression in his blank eyes remained the same as always.

"Skipping, are we? On a training session with the leader? Are you both completely daft?" The large, intimidating form of Hailstorm was very forcefully making its way towards them. A sweet sigh almost made it through his lips when he noticed her paws taking their leader to her apprentice rather than himself. Still, a lump formed in his throat. There was no way Frostedpaw was the only one who was going to get in trouble for this. Guilt ate away at his insides as he tried to convince himself, Yeah, but it's not my fault. I came here looking for Frostedpaw.

His inner hatred, familiar to him by now, played his devil's advocate, Or maybe you should have listened to your instructions better in the first place.

This battle continued to rage on, keeping him from concentrating much on Hailstorm's own rage towards Frostedpaw, until the furious leader turned her attention to this skinny apprentice. Long whiskers twitched him out of his thoughts when he caught her glare. It's not my fault...

In an instant, a flurry of words assaulted the shimmering, grey apprentice, looking with his dull eyes at her, carrying the same expression as they always did. These expressionless eyes were one of Frozenpaw's many curses. They made cats think he never cared. And while he tried not to, it was often a facade. One that he didn't always want to conceal, but his eyes did anyway.

"You. All I see you do is lie around. When you aren't in camp, you're out lying on the ground somewhere. You never pull your lazy rump off that ground for anyone. You only ever think of yourself, and can't be bothered to think about others."

Here, the tom faced an outward manifestation of his usual battle. These words... he had heard all of them before. Not only from the few cats in camp that bothered with him, but from himself. Every day, he hissed at his own uselessness. By now, coming from someone else, these words had overstayed their welcome. It was just tiring, rather than inspiring.

It was when his dead brother came to the conversation that Frozenpaw's ears twitched with confused interest.

"You think you're the only one who's gone through hell? You think you're the only one who's ever lost their brother?"

The young tom's eyes retained their emotional ambiguity, but their lids narrowed, expressing his concentration on her statements. My brother? Hah...hell? What hell? Frozenpaw honestly felt that he didn't care much for his brother. The touch of death was more traumatizing than the fact that it took his only sibling. An amused huff escaped him. However, bringing up his brother was interesting. Nobody ever talked about him anymore. Nobody ever brought up his past anymore. Granted, it was likely because no one ever really talked to Frozenpaw in the first place, but still. The whole incident of his kithood was pushed to the back of his mind. Oh, it certainly came up in his mind now and then; how could it not? The scar of the event gripped him ever so obviously, running all down the right side of his pelt. But relive it? No, that never happened.

It was of such interest to Frozenpaw, that he couldn't quite get his mind off it. Hailstorm was continuing to pierce her voice through his ears, but the pain did not register, like usual. He was vaguely made aware of that name, Silverkit. Nobody had mentioned his name in at least a few moons. So what?

The long, shining scar on his right side itched. Frozenpaw felt a desperate urge to relieve the itch, but how could he casually do so with his leader so passionately tearing his fur off with her words? His breath hitched at the crawling underneath his skin. Frozenpaw felt a similar itch almost daily, but in front of other cats? Never.

"What kind of Clan cat are you? You are a disgrace to the RiverClan name. You are a disgrace to your brother's name."

Frozenpaw's own, roughly voiced subconscious spoke to him, Wow, I don't even have to do the talking this time... And to think, she doesn't even know about your little problem... If she did, I'm sure she would have used it against you by now. What little problem, you ask...? A soft whine sounded through Frozenpaw's throat. It was so quiet, Frozenpaw was likely the only one to hear it. His side hadn't felt this bad since the last time he tried to give up his bad habit. I just want to...

For a moment, Frozenpaw broke his tense stare with Hailstorm and looked at the offending itch. It almost looked like he was looking down with shame, but the yelling wasn't his focus anymore. There it was, underneath that long scar, shining with stretched scar tissue, a more silver sheen than his fur. Grey, all he was seeing was grey. Grey was like...winter. That day.

Frozenpaw was brought back to his kitten days, seeing his own tiny paws ahead of him. His brother's paws were larger than his, a promising swimmer. But they weren't paddling water. They were paddling blood. Swim Silverkit...swim away... Frozenkit's own back legs felt warm and...moist. Was he swimming in blood too? A yowling was heard in the distance, and Frozenkit fell to the ground. He heard the thud of his body hit the floor, but didn't feel anything. The badger gripping him had been chased off. A warrior approached Silverkit. Take him out of the blood. Silverkit's drowning. Another warrior approached Frozenkit, mumbled something frantic. Her paws were in snow. That's right, it's winter. Where's the blood coming from? The small kit took a clearer glance towards his brother. Someone had turned him over, and Silverkit's face was now looking in Frozenkit's direction. It was blank and red and- Mousedung, that hurts. Ohhhh, that hurts. Frozenkit shifted his aching head as best he could towards his own body, splayed out on the ground. It was strange – he didn't notice his head aching before. When he looked, suddenly, the red rip in his body was made evident to his eyes and nerves. There was a ragged mark down his side, similar to when mother scratched a tree to sharpen her claws.

It was the first and last time Frozenpaw had faced pain. Before that, he had small splinters and tummy-aches, but nothing that wasn't quickly cured by a caring mother and warm milk. This was the first time pain felt unbearable, when it felt dreadful. It was the last time, too. Nothing had ever affected him like that.

This time, the sensation in his side was also unbearable, but not painful. Frozenpaw's body tensed, and he gripped his claws to the ground. Frostedpaw had been saying something, but Frozenpaw was too busy lost in his flashback to really take notice. The other apprentice had asked a question, but Frozenpaw just wanted to leave, right then and there. The scar on his right scratched at his pelt, and started to burn beneath his skin. His right paw started to feel it too, the one that was all ragged from moons of loving it too much. He lifted the paw up, feeling it tingle. His paw, his scar, they commanded his attention more fervently than Hailstorm, as if they were begging to be ripped open.

He couldn't take it anymore. The memory of that moon spent drenched in blood covered his vision, and he couldn't succumb to his usual devices, not here. The apprentice's breathing began to get heavier, and without thinking, his right paw struck out towards the face in front of him, Hailstorm's face. His eyes, for the first time, showed signs of life. They were opened wide, with his pupils narrowed so tightly, it took a moment to notice them. They expressed a pure, insane desire, akin to lust. His pelt shivered, craving impact, some attack to give him feeling. Being dead of feeling, he dreaded being dead of feeling. It meant it would hurt soon, just like back then.

In mid-strike, even as he realized what he was doing, he couldn't stop his paw. The crack of thunder around him sounded like the crack of ice over the river. Besides his scar and paw, his pelt felt dead; it felt frozen. He needed to burn it up. It was too cold in here.